“I don’t care,” said Newman, who looked like a tough morsel for either of them, and who was lying.
I said that I would risk the shark. I was born bashful and couldn’t help it. I could bear to be eaten by sharks, but I couldn’t bear to be looked at by ladies. Privately, I knew that sharks were not after dry bones, particularly when meat like Doctor Frank was to be had.
Doctor Frank, who preferred being eaten by ladies to being looked at by sharks, hurried out and Newman, who began to quake, followed him. They were not seen by the strangers, nor would I have been had I had courage enough to follow them out. They then threw my trousers out to me, and began to dress—and told me to do likewise. I remained in the water until I heard a splash behind me and a cry of “shark” from Frank. I hesitated no longer, but screened myself with my trousers and started out of the water. The noise also caused the ladies to look around just as I was emerging. However, I emerged. I had grown brave. So the ladies had to turn around again and gaze at the tops of the palm trees. I thought I detected a faint smile on their faces, and felt ashamed of them. After emerging I learned that Doctor Frank had made the splash by throwing a stone. The negro cabman said that the first rippling of the water was caused by a turtle. Thus does fear make cowards of us all.
MONUMENT TO COLUMBUS, CHRISTOBAL
When I was no longer in the way to frighten them, the ladies, who proved to be old girls with calico complexions, passed on and went into a little gate that was overgrown with vines, and which had not been noticed by us. I suppose they lived there, although I could see nothing but trees about and beyond the gate behind which they disappeared. If they had only told us that they would disappear there we would have allowed them to pass.
We drove back along the shore thinking that Colón was a poor place for surf bathing on account of the sharks and the ladies.
Monday morning I went to Andrews and Company and learned that the Preston had not been heard from, but was expected during the day. They were, however, uncertain and indifferent as to whether it would require a half day, or one or two days to unload what was intended for this port. Hence I became panicky out of fear that I might lose several days waiting if I did not take the little steamship Brighton. Besides, most of the Chicago members were going to take it, and I did not relish being left behind by them. Doctor Senn, who was a good sailor and had been in some of the worst as well as best boats in the world, praised its arrangements immoderately and advised us Chicagoans all to take it and have a nice, cosy, comfortable time together. We would have plenty of room because the crowd would of course wait for the Preston. He allowed his enthusiasm to sway him, and to prove his sincerity engaged the best room on the boat for Doctor Waite, and the second best for himself. Doctor and Mrs. Brower were willing to go through yellow flames to get away quickly from yellow fever. They chose the captain’s room, which was next to the dining-room, so that they would not have to walk half of the length of the ship through rain and dashing spray to their meals, as the rest of us would have to do in bad weather. Doctor Frank also was willing to take chances with fire or water, so it brought him quickly back to Anglo-Saxon civilization. Doctor Newman, who came to the congress for his health, felt so well and contented that he did not care what he did, provided he did it. He only cared to be away from home-sick-home and with the crowd and, in order to be provided for in any event, he went down to the boat, hunted up the Norwegian steward and engaged Doctor Waite’s room for himself and Doctor Frank, not knowing what he did.
I finally made up my mind to cast my lot with my Chicago friends and accept the week’s torture on the Brighton, trusting to the presence of many doctors to keep me alive should I become a sick and helpless stowaway in one of those rudimentary cabins near the rudder. I therefore went to the boat again to see and fee the Viking steward, who was as stupid as responsibility and limited authority could make a fjordman, and engaged as large a part of a room as he would let me have. I had to take a berth in one of two rooms that were left, and which were farthest back, and hoped that no one else would consent to be put back there. But a panic seldom takes one person alone, and when we got off every berth was filled and all officers turned out of their rooms except the purser, who shared his with Doctor Hughes of St. Louis They all tried to get ahead of the crowd, but the crowd was too smart for them.
Doctor Senn and Doctor Waite had not only each engaged a separate and entire stateroom of the steward on Sunday, but had reported their choice to Andrews and Company in order to be sure of them. But the steward, who also became panicky at the sight of so many doctors and doctors’ fees, gave Doctor Waite’s room to Doctors Newman and Frank, and assigned Doctor Waite to Doctor Senn’s room—he didn’t know the difference between a man and woman, except in Norway. So when Doctor Senn came to the boat with his trunks and bags and guns, he found the two doctors comfortably settled in Doctor Waite’s room, and one of them going to bed for a five-days’ nap. Doctor Senn’s gun was loaded for alligators, but he didn’t shoot. It was his custom to think twice before shooting at human beings, and upon second thought he was in doubt whether to shoot the doctors, the steward or the United Fruit Company. Finally he said, “They treat us as if we were a load of bananas. I will go to the office and find out about it.”