Although my eldest brother was a naval officer, yet he was of a philosophical and religious turn of mind, and his actions added such weight to his convictions, that he may be said to have been our second father in all kinds of excellent advice. It was not that he evinced the slightest indifference to any branch of science, on the contrary, he frequently used to converse with me about balloons, and was, to a certain extent, pleased that I had possessed myself of some information on the subject; but he laid stress upon the folly of one in my position thinking very much of such things, and I must needs own that his arguments had their temporary influence, and subdued for a while a passion which was seen to be growing by none more than those who were near and dear to me.
It was the year 1835, when I had shot up a few inches and had changed a blue jacket for a black tail coat, that the reality of life, and the importance of doing something, came pretty strong upon my mind. My brother John had already been despatched to a counting-house in Amsterdam, he had finally given up all hope of going to sea, and knew there was very little chance for me as regards the Army. Family affairs, and what is called destiny, seemed to be dead set against our serving our country, although no two boys ever longed to do so more than ourselves.
My eldest brother, too, had left the service, not on account of natural distaste to it, for no officer was ever more zealous, but, owing to religious scruples, he had resigned his commission just as he had completed a course of study on board the “Excellent.”
These slight references to domestic matters being essential, and indeed inseparable from my own life, I mention them—though with all possible brevity.
The tail coat and other indications of becoming a young man, did not produce a positive and settled belief in any special line of life for which I considered myself suited. I was by no means quick in forming an opinion myself. One of my sisters—I had two at that time—used to say I should make a good clergyman. Perhaps I might have done so, many a youth mistakes his calling; but the truth is that I hardly knew what to turn to.
In the meantime I used to indulge, oftentimes clandestinely, in my favourite pastime by visiting the public gardens of London; I should state by-the-bye, only to see what was going on in the aëronautic way.
During the following year something remarkable, in that line, had engaged public attention. It was the building of a very large balloon, at Vauxhall Gardens, by Messrs. Gye and Hughes, under the personal superintendence, and according to the plans of Mr. Green. This was something new and absorbing, that diverted my fancy from other affairs, and set me reading the papers and talking about the matter, until I became a perfect bore to my associates. I soon learnt full particulars, including the number of yards of silk to be employed, its texture and quality, the cubic contents of the balloon, and how many people it would raise, &c., &c., all of which induced me to believe that everybody was as interested in the affair as myself.
I prattled and enquired, until it occurred to the home minister, in other words, to my elder brother, that some step had better be taken to settle my mind in a solid and business train of thought.
Would I go to Holland, and become a merchant’s clerk?
No objection—I would try my hand at it, but I questioned whether I could stand it.