"He hit me three times in the eats." (I beg the Diary's pardon for the language; I report literally.) "Three times," repeated Bernhardt, "that's the reason he wanted me to appear in mufti. As I went out one of the lackeys said: 'I never heard His Majesty rave so.'"
"But why did you make a beast of yourself?" I asked.
"To force the King to transfer me to another garrison, of course. I can't remain where I am, for the people are terribly incensed against me."
"Did you tell His Majesty?"
"Not on your life," answered Bernhardt. "If I did, I would have to stay there until my last tooth falls out. As things are, the Colonel will insist upon my speedy transference, and that's worth the three slams on the face I got in addition to the various Lausbubs."
"He called you, an army officer, a 'Lausbub.' Where is his vaunted respect for the uniform?"
"Didn't he hit me in the eats?" lamented Bernhardt tragically in his terrible lingo. "I responded both to insult and injury by knocking my heels together and saying: 'At Your Majesty's commands.'"
Of course, I told Romano. "Royalty," he said, "has only, on the face of it, advanced beyond the pirate and robber-baron period. Au fond all princes and kings would be criminals if they happened not to be crowned heads."
THE LATE KING ALBERT OF SAXONY
Louise's Uncle by Marriage