| CONTENTS |
| [CHAPTER I] |
| MOTHERHOOD |
| A sterile Royal Family once fruitful—Diary true record of self—Long legs of Countess Solms—A child only because he can't help it—Wet nurse to Socialist brat—Royal permit for nursing—Royal negligee talk—A Saxon failing |
| [CHAPTER II] |
| THE SWEET FAMILY |
| Husband loving, but family nasty—Money considerations—Brutal caresses in public—Pests in the family—Awful serenity—Meddle with angels' or devils' affairs—Father-in-law's gritty kiss |
| [CHAPTER III] |
| WEEPING WILLOW—EMBLEM ROYAL |
| A pious fraud—Theresa Mayer—Character of the Queen—Mopishness rampant |
| [CHAPTER IV] |
| MY UNPLEASANT YOUTH |
| Father hard to get along with—Royal imaginations—Kings cursing other kings—Poverty and pretense—Piety that makes children suffer—Up at five to pray on cold stones—Chilblains and prayer |
| [CHAPTER V] |
| A FIERCE DISCIPLINARIAN |
| Diamonds used to punish children—Face object of attacks— Grunting and snorting at the royal table—Blood flowing at dinner—My brother jumps out of a window |
| [CHAPTER VI] |
| LEOPOLD DEFENDS MY HONOR AT HIS PERIL |
| Punished for objecting to familiarities—Awful names I was called—Locked in the room with wicked teacher—Defend myself with burning lamp—My brother nearly kills my would-be assailant |
| [CHAPTER VII] |
| PRINCES AND PRINCESSES DANCE TO THE TUNE OF THE WHIP |
| The result shows in the character of rulers—Why English kings and princes are superior to the Continental kind—Leopold's awful revenge—Mother acts the tigress—Her mailed fist—"I forbid Your Imperial Highness to see that dog" |
| [CHAPTER VIII] |
| PLANNING TO GET A HUSBAND FOR ME |
| Dissecting possible wooers at Vienna—Royalty after money, not character—"He is a Cohen, not a Coburg"—Prince who looked like a Jew counter-jumper in his Sunday best—Balkan princes tabooed by Francis Joseph—A good time for the girls—Army men commanded to attend us |
| [CHAPTER IX] |
| LOVE-MAKING |
| The fascinating Baron—The man's audacity—Putting the question boldly—Real love-making—Risqué stories for royalty |
| [CHAPTER X] |
| MY POPULARITY RENDERS GEORGE DYSPEPTIC |
| The Cudgel-Majesty—Prince George's intrigues—No four-horse coach for Princess—Popular demonstration in my favor—"All-highest" displeasure |
| [CHAPTER XI] |
| SCOLDED FOR BEING POPULAR |
| Entourage spied upon by George's minions—My husband proves a weakling—I disavow the personal compliment—No more intelligent than a king should be |
| [CHAPTER XII] |
| ROYAL DISGRACE—LIGHTNING AND SHADOWS |
| Ordered around by the Queen—Give thanks to a bully—Jealous of the "mob's" applause—"The old monkey after 'Hochs'"—Criticizing the "old man"—Royalty's plea for popularity—Proposed punishments for people refusing to love royalty |
| [CHAPTER XIII] |
| UNSPEAKABLE LITTLENESSES OF PETTY COURTS |
| Another quarrel with my husband—Personal attendant to a corpse—Killing by pin pricks—The mythical three "How art thou's?"—Unwanted sympathy from my inferiors—Pride of the decapitated Queen of France is in me—Lovers not impossible—Court to blame for them—My husband acts cowardly—Brutalizes my household—I lock myself in |
| [CHAPTER XIV] |
| IMPERIAL RUSSIAN ETHICS TRANSFERRED TO DRESDEN |
| My husband's reported escapade—Did he give diamonds to a dancing girl?—His foolish excuses—"I am your pal"—A restaurant scene in St. Petersburg—The birthday suit |
| [CHAPTER XV] |
| ROYALTY NOT PRETTY, AND WHY |
| Fecundity royal women's greatest charm—How to have beautiful children |
| [CHAPTER XVI] |
| MORE JEALOUSIES OF THE GREAT |
| Men and women caress me with their eyes—Some disrespectful sayings and doings of mine—First decided quarrel with Frederick Augustus—I go to the theatre in spite of him |
| [CHAPTER XVII] |
| THE ROYAL PRINCE, WHO BEHAVES LIKE A DRUNKEN BRICKLAYER |
| I face the music, but my husband runs away—Prince George can't look me in the eye—He roars and bellows—Advocates wife-beating—I defy him—German classics—"Jew literature" Auto da fé ordered |
| [CHAPTER XVIII] |
| I DEFY THEM |
| Laughter and pleasant faces for me—Frederick Augustus refuses to back me, but I don't care—We quarrel about my reading—He professes to gross ignorance |
| [CHAPTER XIX] |
| ATTEMPTED VIOLENCE DEFEATED BY FIRMNESS |
| Frederick Augustus seeks to carry out his father's brutal threats—Orders and threats before servants—I positively refuse to be ordered about—Frederick Augustus plays Mrs. Lot—Enjoying myself at the theatre |
| [CHAPTER XX] |
| TITLED SERVANTS LOW AND CUNNING |
| George tries to rob me of my confidante—Enter the King's spy, Baroness Tisch in her true character—Punishment of one royal spy |
| [CHAPTER XXI] |
| BANISHMENT |
| I am ordered to repair to a country house with the hated spy as my Grand Mistress—My first impulse to go home, but afraid parents won't have me |
| [CHAPTER XXII] |
| "POOR RELATIONS" IN ROYAL HOUSES |
| Myself and Frederick Augustus quarrel and pound table—The Countess Cosel's golden vessel—Off to Brighton—Threat of a beating—I provoke shadows of divorce—King threatens force—More defiance on my part—I humble the King and am allowed to invite my brother Leopold |
| [CHAPTER XXIII] |
| A SERVANT-TYRANT |
| My correspondence is not safe from the malicious woman appointed Grand Mistress—Lovers at a distance and by correspondence—Fell in love with a leg |
| [CHAPTER XXIV] |
| MORE TYRANNY OF A TITLED SERVANT |
| My daily papers seized, and only milk-and-water clippings are submitted—"King's orders"—Grand Mistress's veracity doubted—My threats of suspension cow her |
| [CHAPTER XXV] |
| THE TWO BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY UNITED |
| Leopold upon my troubles and his own—Imperial Hapsburgs that, though Catholics, got divorces or married divorced women—Books that are full of guilty knowledge, according to royalty—A mud-hole lodging for one Imperial Highness—Leopold's girl—What I think of army officers' wives—Their anonymous letters—Leopold's money troubles—We will fool our enemies by feigning obedience |
| [CHAPTER XXVI] |
| FREDERICK AUGUSTUS CONTINUES VERY RAW |
| Manners à la barracks natural to royal princes—Names I am called—My ladies scandalized—Leopold turned over a new leaf, according to agreement, and is well treated—The King grateful to me for having "influenced Leopold to be good" |
| [CHAPTER XXVII] |
| PRINCE MAX MAKES LOVE TO ME |
| Wants me to consult him on all spiritual matters—Warns me against the Kaiser, the heretic bishop—Princes as ill-mannered as Russian-Jew up-starts |
| [CHAPTER XXVIII] |
| THE SHAH OF PERSIA FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME |
| The "animal" and his show of diamonds and rubies—Overcome by love he treats me like a lady of the harem—On the defensive—The King of kings an ill-behaved brute—Eats like a pig and affronts Queen—Wiped off greasy hands on my state robe—When ten thousand gouged-out eyes carpeted his throne—Offers of jewels—"Does he take me for a ballet girl?"—The Shah almost compromises me—King, alarmed, abruptly ends dinner—I receive presents from him |
| [CHAPTER XXIX] |
| THE SHAH COMPROMISES ME IN PUBLIC |
| Has only eyes for me at the grand manœuvres, and I can't drive him from my carriage—Ignores the King and the military spectacle—Calls me his adored one—Court in despair—Shah ruins priceless carpets to make himself a lamb stew |
| [CHAPTER XXX] |
| MY LIFE AT COURT BECOMES UNBEARABLE |
| Laughter a crime—Disappointed Queen lays down the law for my behavior—Frederick Augustus sometimes fighting drunk—Draws sword on me—Prince George would have me beaten—To bed with his boots on |
| [CHAPTER XXXI] |
| PRISON FOR PRINCES THAT OPPOSE THE KING |
| Duke of Saxony banished—Cut off from good literature even—Anecdote concerning the Grand Dauphin and his "kettledrums"—A royal prince's garrison life—His association with lewd women |
| [CHAPTER XXXII] |
| PRINCE GEORGE SHOWN THE DOOR BY GRAND-DUCHESS MELITA |
| A royal lady who walks her garden attired in a single diaphanous garment—Won't stand for any meddling—Called impertinent—My virtuous indignation assumed—A flirtation at a distance—An audacious lover—The Grand Mistress hoodwinked—Matrimonial horns for Kaiser—The banished Duke dies—Princes scolded like school-boys |
| [CHAPTER XXXIII] |
| MELITA'S LOVE AFFAIRS AND MINE |
| The Grand Duchess tells me how she cudgeled George—Living dictaphone employed—Shows him who is mistress of the house—Snaps fingers in Prince George's face—Debate about titles—"A sexless thing of a husband"—Conference between lover and husband—Grand Duke doesn't object to his wife's lover, but lover objects to "his paramour being married" |
| [CHAPTER XXXIV] |
| MORE ABOUT THE SWEET ROYAL FAMILY LIFE |
| "Closed season" for petty meannesses—A prince who enjoys himself like a pig—Why princes learn trades—A family dinner to the accompaniment of threats and smashing of table—The Duke's widow and children robbed of their inheritance by royal family—King confiscates testament |
| [CHAPTER XXXV] |
| FLIRTATION DEVELOPS INTO LOVE |
| At the theatre—My adorer must have felt my presence—Forgot his diplomacy—The mute salute—His good looks—His mouth a promise of a thousand sweet kisses—Our love won't be any painted business |
| [CHAPTER XXXVI] |
| COUNT BIELSK MAKES LOVE TO THE CROWN PRINCESS |
| Fearless to indiscretion—He "thou's" me—Puts all his chances on one card—Proposes a rendezvous—Shall I go or shall I not go?—Peril if I go and peril if I don't |
| [CHAPTER XXXVII] |
| RAPID LOVE MAKING IN THE BOIS |
| A discreet maid—"Remove thy glove"—Kisses of passion, pure kisses, powerful kisses—I see my lover daily—Countess Barnello offers "doves' nest"—Driving to rendezvous in state—"Naughty Louise," who makes fun of George |
| [CHAPTER XXXVIII] |
| "IN LOVE THERE ARE NO PRINCESSES, ONLY WOMEN" |
| A diplomatic trick—Jealous of Romano's past—The pact for life and the talisman—If there were a theatre fire the talisman would discover our love to the King—Some ill-natured reflections—Bernhardt's escapades cover up my tracks—The "black sheep" jumps his horse over a coffin—King gives him a beating—Bernhardt's mess-room lingo—Anecdotes of royal voluptuaries—Forces animals to devour each other—Naked ballet-girls as horses—Abnormals rule the world |
| [CHAPTER XXXIX] |
| MY PUNISHMENT |
| I lose my lover—Quarrels with me because I did my duty as a mother—Royalty extols me for the same reason—-My pride of kingship aroused by Socialist scribblers—Change my opinion as to Duke's widow—Parents arrive—Father and his alleged astrolatry—His finances disarranged by alimony payments—My uncle, the Emperor, rebukes mother harshly for complaining of roué father |
| [CHAPTER XL] |
| A PLEBEIAN LOVER |
| In need of a friend—My physician offers his friendship—I discover that he loves me, but he will never confess—I give him encouragement—We manage to persuade the King to further our intrigue—Not a bit repentant of my peccadilloes—Very submissive—Introduced to my lover's wife |
| [CHAPTER XLI] |
| AN ATROCIOUS ROYAL SCANDAL |
| A royal couple that shall be nameless—The voluptuous Duchess—Her husband the worst of degenerates—"What monsters these royalties be"—Nameless outrages—A Duchess forced to have lovers—Ferdinand and I live like married folk—Duchess feared for her life—Her husband murdered her—I scold and humiliate my overbearing Grand Mistress—The medical report too horrible to contemplate |
| [CHAPTER XLII] |
| I LOSE ANOTHER OF MY LOVERS |
| Happily no scandal—Rewarded for bearing children—$1250—for becoming a mother—Royal poverty—Bernhardt, the black sheep, in hot water again—The King rebukes me for taking his part |
| [CHAPTER XLIII] |
| THE CROWN PRINCESS QUELLS A RIOT |
| Asked to play the coward, and I refuse—A hostler who would die for a look from me—Hostler marriages in royal houses—Anecdotes and unknown facts concerning royal ladies and their offspring—Refuse police escort and rioters acclaim me—Whole royal family proud of my feat |
| [CHAPTER XLIV] |
| THE NEW LOVER, AND "I PLAY THE HUSSY FOR FAIR" |
| Who is that most exquisite Vortänzer?—A lovely boy—"Blush, good white paper"—I long for Henry—My eyes reflect love—"I must see you tonight. Arrange with Lucretia"—Sorry I ever loved a man before Henry—Poetry even—I try to get him an office at court—Afraid women will steal him |
| [CHAPTER XLV] |
| LOVE AND THE HAPPINESS IT CONVEYS |
| My Grand Mistress suspects because I am so amiable—Pangs of jealousy—Every good-looking man pursued by women—A good story of my cousin, the Duchess Berri—We all go cycling together—The Vitzthums—Love making on the street—A mud bath |
| [CHAPTER XLVI] |
| FEARS FOR MY LOVE |
| Some reflections on queens of old who punished recreant lovers—Henry was in debt and I gave him money—Indignities by which some of that money was earned—Husband accompanies me to Loschwitz—Reflections on Frederick Augustus's character |
| [CHAPTER XLVII] |
| LOVE'S INTERMEZZO |
| Bernhardt takes advantage of my day-dreams—My husband's indolent gaucherie—Violent love-making—Ninon who loved families, not men—Does Bernhardt really love me? |
| [CHAPTER XLVIII] |
| GRAND MISTRESS TELLS HUSBAND I KEEP A DIARY |
| He wants to see it, but seems unsuspecting—Grand Mistress denies that she meant mischief, but I upbraid her unmercifully—Threaten to dismiss her like a thieving lackey |
| [CHAPTER XLIX] |
| ARISTOCRATIC VISITORS |
| I hear disquieting news about my lover's character—The aristocracy a dirty lot—Love-making made easy by titled friends—Anecdotes of Richelieu and the Duke of Orleans—The German nobleman who married Miss Wheeler and had to resign his birthright—The disreputable business the Pappenheims and other nobles used to be in—I am afraid to question my lover as to charges |
| [CHAPTER L] |
| TO LIVE UNDER KING'S AND PRINCE GEORGE'S EYE |
| Abruptly ordered to the royal summer residence—The Vitzthums and Henry take flight—Enmeshed by Prince George's intrigues—Those waiting for a crown have no friends—What I will do when Queen—No wonder Kings of old married only relatives—Interesting facts about relative marriages furnished by scientist |
| [CHAPTER XLI] |
| COLD RECEPTION—ENEMIES ALL AROUND |
| Frederick Augustus gives his views on adultery—Doesn't care personally, but "the King knows"—"Thank God, the King is ill"—I am deprived of my children—Have I got the moral strength to defy my enemies? |
| [CHAPTER LII] |
| PRINCE GEORGE REVEALS TO ME THE DEPTH OF HIS HATRED |
| A terrible interview—"The devil will come to claim you"—Uncertain how much the King and Prince George know—I break into the nursery and stay with my children all day—Prince George insults me in my own rooms and threatens prison if I disobey him |
| [CHAPTER LIII] |
| REVOLVER IN HAND, I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION |
| An insolent Grand Mistress, but of wonderful courage—Imprisonment, threats to kill have no effect on her—Disregards my titles—My lover's souvenir and endearing words—How she caused Henry to leave me—My paroxysms of rage—Henry's complete betrayal of me |
| [CHAPTER LIV] |
| FORCED TO DO PENANCE LIKE A TRAPPIST-MONK |
| "By the King's orders"—I submit for the sake of my children—Must fast as well as pray—In delicate health, I insist upon returning to Dresden—Bernhardt, to avoid being maltreated by King, threatens him with his sword—The King's awful wrath—Bernhardt prisoner in Nossen—I escape, temporarily, protracted ennui |
| [CHAPTER LV] |
| FRANCIS JOSEPH JOINS MY SAXON ENEMIES |
| Cuts me dead before whole family—Everybody talks over my head at dinner—I refuse to attend more court festivities—Husband protests because I won't stand for insult from Emperor—I give rein to my contempt for his family—Hypocrites, despoilers, gamblers, religious maniacs, brutes—Benign lords to the people, tyrants at home—I cry for my children like a she-dog whose young were drowned |
| [CHAPTER LVI] |
| I AM DETERMINED TO DO AS I PLEASE |
| I reject mother's tearful reproaches—I beard Prince George in his lair despite whining chamberlains—I tell him what I think of him, and he becomes frightened—Threatens madhouse—"I dare you to steal my children"—I win my point—and the children—"Her Imperial Highness regrets"—Lots of forbidden literature—Precautions against intriguing Grand Mistress—The affair with Henry—was it a flower-covered pit to entrap me?—Castle Stolpen and some of its awful history |
| [CHAPTER LVII] |
| I CONFESS TO PAPA |
| King Albert dies and King George a very sick man—Papa's good advice—"You will be Queen soon"—A lovely old man, very much troubled |
| [CHAPTER LVIII] |
| MONSIEUR GIRON—RICHARD, THE ARTIST |
| The King asks me to superintend lessons by M. Giron—A most fascinating man—His Grecian eyes—He is a painter as well as a teacher—In love—Careless whether I am caught in my lover's arms—"Richard" talks anarchy to me—Why I don't believe in woman suffrage—Characters and doings of women in power |
| [CHAPTER LIX] |
| THE PEOPLE THINK ME A WANTON |
| Credit me with innumerable lovers, but don't disapprove—Glad the King feels scandalized—Picture of the "she-monster"—Everybody eager for love—I delight in Richard's jealousy—Husband's indelicate announcement at table—I rush from the royal opera to see my lover—A threatening dream—Richard not mercenary like my noble lovers |
| [CHAPTER LX] |
| THE DAY OF JUDGMENT LOOMS UP |
| My Grand Mistress shows her colors—Richard advises flight—I hesitate on account of my children—My Grand Mistress steals a letter from Richard to me—I opine that an adulteress's word is as good as a thief's—I humble my Grand Mistress, but it won't do me much good—Pleasant hours at his studio |
| [CHAPTER LXI] |
| A MAD HOUSE FOR LOUISE—PROBABLY |
| My confidential maid, Lucretia, is banished—The new King has got the incriminating letter, but Frederick Augustus says nothing—On the eve of judgment the King falls ill |
| [CHAPTER LXII] |
| KING'S ILLNESS A BOON TO LOVERS |
| Prayers mixed with joy—Espionage disorganized, and I can do as I please—Love-making in the school-room—Buying a ring for Richard—"Wishing it on"—"Our marriage"—King's life despaired of—My tormentors obsequious—Smile at my peccadilloes—Husband proud of me—My popularity a great asset—Frederick Augustus delighted when he hears that King can't last long—The joyous luncheon at Richard's studio—Making fun of majesties—I expect to be Queen presently |
| [CHAPTER LXIII] |
| WHAT I WILL DO WHEN I AM QUEEN |
| A foretaste: titled servants put me en route for lover—The bargain I will propose to Frederick Augustus—Frederick Augustus will be a complaisant King—To revive Petit Trianon—I am addressed as Queen |
| [CHAPTER LXIV] |
| THE KING IS ALIVE AND PUNISHMENT NEAR |
| My queenship postponed—King George publicly acclaimed—Cuts me dead in church—Frederick Augustus's disappointment—Terrible power of a king over his family, and no appeal—I am like the nude witch of old |
| [CHAPTER LXV] |
| FISTICUFFS DON'T SAVE MY CROWN |
| The attempted theft of my Diary—Grand Mistress discovered after breaking open my desk—Reading Diary like mad—Personal encounter between me and Grand Mistress—I am the stronger, and carry off the manuscript, but have to leave all my love letters, which go to the King—I discover that they had stolen the key to my Diary from my neck |
| [CHAPTER LXVI] |
| ABANDONED |
| My titled servants withdraw from me—An old footman my sole support—Queen takes the children—Old Andrew plays spy for me |
| [CHAPTER LXVII] |
| FAMILY COUNCIL AT CASTLE |
| Rendezvous at studio—State takes my children from me—Madhouse or flight—I brought fifty-two trunks to the palace—Depart with small satchel—If I attempt to see my children I'll be seized as "mad woman"—Varying emotions of the last ten minutes—Threatening shadows thrown on a curtain decide me—Ready for flight—Diary the last thing to go into the satchel |
FROM LOUISE'S DIARY