“‘At your feet, ladies,’ I say, ‘but I go!’
“So I go, and then for the first eet is pleasant: the weend blow carefully; the little can-ooo jump oopon the water. But now there comes a large cloud. The weend he blow not so carefully. I am far from home. On the shore, Señor Córdova and hees ladies make observacion with a telescope. It is sad, I think, that they can see me so plain, yet am I upon thees stormy ocean. Of what avail is the telescope, if I am to shipwreck the can-ooo? Ah! I would not at that time that I had the ancestors of so cour-rrageous. Eet ees one of them who make Rolando see hees feeneesh. Out oopon these violent water I am cara á cara with the ma’neefeecent past. Shall I to turn the back upon the perilous? Die, then, the thought! Beside, that moment may the Señorita Margarita be with the beautiful eye at the telescope. So I am gay; I smile, as though I mek enjoyment of the terrrible bouncing of that little can-ooo; I sing areea from Fra Diavolo—ti-ti-tee-tum-te-tee! But at heart I regret mooch. What is a can-ooo, for the most? Eet ees not so strong as paper; eet ees a small, little boat that thees wave who shake hees teeth at me may devour at a bite. And then, alas! comes in a wave—ta! Ah, veree cold! Veree damp! With my hat I mek attempt to hurl the water outdoors. Comes another wave—another. I labor desperate; eet weel not do. Eet ees not enough. The can-ooo is sinking. Bimeby I am to sit in the water. It happen. Then I am to clasp the can-ooo with my arm, for in the both end of eet exists an air-tink—a box made of iron which hold the air, that the can-ooo may remain upon the water.
“The stern of that can-ooo go down first; glides the large rocks for ballass to where I am sitting. Thees I am to t’row out. Pah! When I bend to catch heem, comes a large wave right down my neck.
“There am I, then, clasping that can-ooo passionately, only hees end sticking up from the water. Those large stone hold the other end downright.
“At once I think, ‘Córdova shall survey t’rough hees telescope, and send to me assistance.’ But on the second thought I see eet ees not to be. I have mek sooch large talk of what I may do with that can-ooo that Córdova shall think: ‘Thees ees novelty American. My friend shows me all! What devils are thees Americans, to swim in a boat standing oop in the water? Who shall presentiment their leemitaciones?’ And he shall call hees neighbors to see the es-pectacle. Everybody shall come and remark, ‘Ah! Meeracoolous!’ and shake hees head.
“When I think that, I am almost to weep. My friends to see me fish for fish with myself before their eyes! Behold the beautiful Margarita! Will it not to melanchate her days of youth to rrrremember, ‘Through a telescope I saw my dear friend dissolve een the water?’ Sad, thees. Well, then, eet ees unavoiadabble. So to mek en end manful—strong. Therefore I smile again. But that smile he take all my strength. I wish not to show disrespec’ for thees so noble country, yet eet ees the coostom for to mek the dollar. On that account some work is not so well done. That air-tink, on which depend my life, he leak. The can-ooo ees sinking, sinking. My ear against hees side, I can hear that little noise—shhhh!—where the water run in and the air run out. Eet ees the hour-glass marking how long I shall remain een the country. When he feel oop—pop! A Dios, el mundo!
“And eet ees so slow! I am of eempatient deesposeecion. With the long waiting I am not simpatico. I look how fast the water come up on that can-ooo, and I esteemate that I have to sit in those cold water for five hours. And my friends observe t’rough the telescope! Misericordia! Eet ees too dam mooch! For five hours must I smile and sink!
“And when I think that Córdova shall say, ‘Ah, but he ees not eenteresting, thees fellow! Eet ees a pairformance monotonoose to sit there in the water! He ees not really an American! Not sooch do they, I give my word!’ then I geenash my tooth, and I shall to tear my hair, but how may I unclasp that little can-ooo?
“Now, to any man thees would seem suffeecent—a meesery plenty for the heart to hold. Yet listen! Here am I, three miles from shore in the stormy ocean, grasping a sinking can-ooo, while eet ees necessary that I seem to enjoy myself, to compensate my friends who witness t’rough the telescope—ees eet not the leemit? Hear me! Now comes the shark! Madre de Dios! How shall I now perform? Shall I make a great splash with my feet to enfrighten that wrrretched repteel away?
“And Margarita mek observation of me in the actions of the little playful child. Ah, my heart shall burst! In her eyes to become reediculous! Si, yet here comes the shark to bite me by the leg. To splash eet ees reediculous, but what can be so mooch reediculous as a man without some legs? Eet ees time I splash. Vigorosely I the water spatter. The shark, that cowardly insect, run away—only to get hees friends. Around me they circulate, each one putting oopon me the obstruction of hees cold, unfeeling eye. And it rains. In the air ees water! in the ocean ees water; in the water ees sharks. I am tire of water; I regret that I have not brought the ball of the foot or the boxer-glove to eenvigorate thees island.