“‘“Are you going to deal flagstones with your feet?” asks one of them.
“‘Let’s pull down the blinds. It was their whirl at the bat. They brought all the folks, includin’ the old man and Tommy the cop.
“‘They yee-hooed on my feet till I had to holler for mercy. Then they sat on the curb and rocked and hollered like the pack of fools they were. They tried to lift my shoulders up, but found that my coat had took a violent affection for the sidewalk, too. Some of ’em didn’t even try for the curbstone then. They rolled around on the sidewalk and kicked their legs, whilst I frayed my vocal chords readin’ their customs and habits to ’em.
“‘But I was in a runnin’ noose; the harder I cussed at ’em, the worse they laughed.
“‘“Ain’t he the slick one, though!” says the old man, holdin’ on to his stummick with both hands. “Don’t do nothin’ more to him for a minute, boys, or the coroner’ll be sittin’ on me.”
“‘Every time I gee-nashed my teeth an’ tried to reach ’em they waltzed on one leg and shrieked. There must ’a’ been nigh three hundred fools watchin’ and havin’ the time of their lives. Little messenger-boys was there, the night-watchmen took a peep, ladies with a past improved a shinin’ present, the dago shoeblacks heard the racket and come runnin’ up and hollered, “Choon-gum extract! Ten a cent!”
“‘And there I lay, flat on my back, with my knees in the air, scart to move, because I couldn’t wiggle a finger without the crowd throwin’ a fit. Oh, murder! Le’s cut it! They unlaced my shoes and snaked me out of my coat, and instead of bein’ sad at them pathetical shoes and coat lying in the coal-tar, the boss fell over sideways and the rest was too feeble to stop me as I broke away. I made that block in two stocking-footed leps.
“‘I had a hundred or two in my pants. I bought three dollars’ worth of coat and shoes from a second-hand store for fifteen dollars and a promise that if anything happened I wouldn’t mention the shop to the police. Then I come here, far from the gadding crowds, far from the lady with the developed jaw-swing, and I get—that.’
“Here,” said Mr. Scraggs, “he p’inted to my chewin’-gum and wiped his white brow off with his white handkercher, and he says: ‘Have we come to this?’
“I swallered hard and looked at him.