But the brightness remained, and soon began to transform itself. Feature after feature came into distinct outline. It was a shining face. Calm, luminous, and grand, it gazed steadily upon him. His blood froze in his veins as he recognized the glorified face of Stephanos.
CHAPTER XVIII
AMABEL’S REMARKABLE EXPERIENCE
Amabel returned to her father’s palace in a state of great disquietude. The unexpected meeting with Serenus, but vastly more its unwonted circumstances, gave her a great shock. What could it mean? Serenus walking the streets of the Holy City in the company of a young woman, a stranger, in a manner which betokened great familiarity! Such an event, witnessed by her own eyes, shook and threatened to disenthrone her Ideal, and to dissolve everything which she had counted solid and sacred.
Since Amabel’s last interview with Serenus, she had striven loyally to banish his image from her mind, but with variable success. At times she almost seemed to feel his presence, and in other moods persuaded herself that she was quite resigned to the inevitable and final separation which had been wisely accepted by both.
Amabel was an idolized favorite in the Holy City. Her grace and beauty, with the eminent position of the Rabban, gave her the highest social distinction. Who so happy as Amabel? The centre of an admiring circle, the petted daughter of tender parents, surrounded by luxury, active in kindly deeds, and loyal to her religion, what more could be desired? But a heaviness was in [pg 178]her heart, and the world about her was prosaic and mechanical. Her social and religious duties were faithfully performed, and she enjoyed the favor and love of all; but, alas, a worm was gnawing at the root of a comely flower. There was a subtle unrest and secret blight that made life barren and joyless. She became introspective, and often tried to weigh her motives, obstacles, and aspirations, as in a pair of balances.
The Is and the Might Be are always coming up for comparison and contrast in the human foreground. On one side, Amabel had home, friends, social position, and the accepted religion of her own people, and on the other, Serenus, his love, and a New Faith which seemed strange to her. Although Serenus had assured her of his devoted and undying affection, he had not asked or expected that she would renounce all for him. He had taken it for granted that she would not and could not. He had gracefully accepted the stern logic of the situation, and cheerfully made the great sacrifice. On her part, she had even withheld the confession of her own love, for the sole purpose of making his burden lighter, and his renunciation possible. As they must separate, it would be easier so.
Since the evening of the earnest avowal of love by Serenus, and the mutual acquiescence in the imperative separation, life had drifted along; but the whole world was changed. Her cheeks had lost their color, and there were many evidences of wearing preoccupation. But she made a heroic effort to fall into the current of what was expected of her, and firmly resolved to cease all iridescent dreaming, and be resigned.
After the chance meeting, Amabel arrived at home almost breathless, and avoiding the family, hastened to her favorite nook upon the house-top. Her heart was fluttering, her senses swimming, and she must have a little time. It was all important that she rally her forces, and lift herself above the sudden rush of waves which threatened to ingulf her. She began to reason with herself, and to cast about for some solid ground upon which she might stand. She could not interpret her own soul. There were two voices within, and each claimed her. Admitting her love for Serenus, had not all forever been settled between them?