None so Deaf As Those Who Won't Hear: A Comedietta in One Act

by Herbert Pelham Curtis

Jane. Deef!

Coddle. So you’re deaf, eh? (Points to ears.) Deaf?

Whitwell. Third term, by all means. You’re right. Gen. Grant, as you say, of course.

Coddle. Deaf! He is indeed. A Heaven-sent son-in-law! My idea realized! Heaven has heard my prayers at last.

Jane. Son-in-law! Mercy presarve us all!

Coddle. Delightful young man! I must have a little confidential talk with him, Jane. But don’t you go.

Jane. A deef son-in-law! Lord ’a’ mercy! must I have a pair on ’em on my hands!

Coddle. My afflicted friend, pray take a chair. (Whitwell takes no notice.) Delicious! he don’t hear a sound. (Louder.) Take a seat. (Shouts.) Seat!

Whitwell (bows). Nothing to eat: thanks.