None so Deaf As Those Who Won't Hear: A Comedietta in One Act

by Herbert Pelham Curtis

Whitwell (aside). Ha! my partner at Lady Thornton’s!

Eglantine (aside). Why, this is the gentleman I danced with at Sir Edward’s! What nonsense is this about his being deaf? Jane, this gentleman hears as well as I do myself. What do you mean?

Jane. Does he, miss? Reckon not. You shall see.

Whitwell (aside). How annoying I can’t give a hint to Miss Coddle! If that troublesome minx were only out of the way, now!

Jane (in ordinary voice). Young man, you may suit Mr. Coddle, and I des’say you does, but you don’t suit here. So git up and git.

Eglantine. Jane!

Jane. Pshaw! Miss Eglantine, he can’t hear nary a sound.

Whitwell (aside). You couldn’t, if my finger and thumb were to meet on your ear, you vixen! (To Eglantine.) Miss Coddle is excessively kind to receive me with such condescending politeness.

Jane. Ha, ha, ha! I told you so, Miss Eglantine. He thinks I paid him a compliment, sartain as yeast.

Eglantine. Very strange! When I met this poor gentleman at Lady Thornton’s, he was not afflicted in this way.