Coddle. Not another word, my love, about that horrible deaf fellow! I asked him to dine here to-day, like an old ass; but I’ll pack him off immediately after.
Eglantine (angrily). Another offer thrown away! Papa, you will kill me with your cruelty. (Weeps.)
Coddle. Pooh, darling, I’ve another, much better offer on hand. I got a letter this morning from my friend Pottle. His favorite nephew—charming fellow.
Eglantine (sobbing). I won’t take him.
Coddle. Eglantine, a capital offer, I tell you. Capital! Young, brilliant, rich.
Eglantine. I won’t take him! I won’t take him! I won’t take him! (Stamps.)
Coddle. But, Eglantine—
Eglantine. No, no, no, no, no! I’ll die an old maid first! I’ll kill myself if I can’t marry the man I love. (Exit, weeping.)
Coddle. (Solus.) The image of her mother! The villain has bewitched her! And to think I’ve asked him to dinner! A scamp I don’t know, and never heard of, and who came into my house like a murderer, smashing all my hot-houses! Confound him, I’ll insult him till he can’t see out of his eyes! I’ll dine him with a vengeance! And I’ll hand him over to the police afterwards for malicious mischief—the horrid deaf ruffian! The audacity of daring to demand my daughter’s hand! Deaf as he is! (Bell heard.) Ha! what’s that infernal noise? A fire? (Opens window.) Bah! Jane ringing the dinner-bell. Stop, stop, stop that devilish tocsin! (Looks down into garden.) There sits the miscreant, reading a paper, and hearing nothing of a bell loud enough to wake the dead. Detestable blockhead! There goes Jane to call him. Faithful Jane! I long to witness the joy which irradiates her face, dear soul, when I tell her I can hear. She loves me so sincerely! (Calls.) Jane!—A servant of an extinct species. None like her nowadays. Jane, Jane! (Enter Jane with soup-tureen.) I’ve news for you, my faithful Jane.