None so Deaf As Those Who Won't Hear: A Comedietta in One Act

by Herbert Pelham Curtis

Jane (screams). Ah! he hears, he hears.

Coddle. You’ll have a little fun out of the old sheep, will you? You tell me to shut up, eh? Clap me into an asylum, will you? (Lets go her ear.)

Jane. A miracle! I’m dead. (Crosses to L., screaming.)

(Enter Eglantine.)

Eglantine. Papa! For heaven’s sake, what is the matter?

Whitwell (stupefied). What, Mr. Coddle! I thought you were deaf. Is it possible you can hear?

Coddle (shouts). Perfectly well, sir; and so it seems can you. I will repeat, if you wish it, every one of those delectable compliments you paid me five minutes since.

Whitwell (to Eglantine). I can’t believe my ears. Miss Coddle, has he been shamming deafness, then, all this time?

Eglantine (shouts). No, indeed. A doctor cured his deafness only half an hour ago.

Jane. Ah! Dear old master, was it kind to deceive me in this fashion? Why didn’t ye tell me? Ah! now ye can hear, I love you tenderer than ever.