“General Lord Howe? Heed how I talk of that toad-hearted king’s lick-spittle of a scarlet poltroon; the vilest wriggler in God’s worm-hole below? I tell you, that herds of red-haired devils are impatiently snorting to ladle Lord Howe with all his gang (you included) into the seethingest syrups of tophet’s flames!”
At this blast, the wasp-waisted officer was blown backwards as from before the suddenly burst head of a steam-boiler.
Staggering away, with a snapped spine, he muttered something about its being beneath his dignity to bandy further words with a low-lived rebel.
“Come, come, Colonel Allen,” here said a mild-looking man in a sort of clerical undress, “respect the day better than to talk thus of what lies beyond. Were you to die this hour, or what is more probable, be hung next week at Tower-wharf, you know not what might become, in eternity, of yourself.”
“Reverend Sir,” with a mocking bow, “when not better employed braiding my beard, I have a little dabbled in your theologies. And let me tell you, Reverend Sir,” lowering and intensifying his voice, “that as to the world of spirits, of which you hint, though I know nothing of the mode or manner of that world, no more than do you, yet I expect when I shall arrive there to be treated as well as any other gentleman of my merit. That is to say, far better than you British know how to treat an American officer and meek-hearted Christian captured in honorable war, by ——! Every one tells me, as you yourself just breathed, and as, crossing the sea, every billow dinned into my ear, that I, Ethan Allen, am to be hung like a thief. If I am, the great Jehovah and the Continental Congress shall avenge me; while I, for my part, shall show you, even on the tree, how a Christian gentleman can die. Meantime, sir, if you are the clergyman you look, act out your consolatory function, by getting an unfortunate Christian gentleman about to die, a bowl of punch.”
The good-natured stranger, not to have his religious courtesy appealed to in vain, immediately dispatched his servant, who stood by, to procure the beverage.
At this juncture, a faint rustling sound, as of the advance of an army with banners, was heard. Silks, scarfs, and ribbons fluttered in the background. Presently, a bright squadron of fair ladies drew nigh, escorted by certain outriding gallants of Falmouth.
“Ah,” sighed a soft voice, “what a strange sash, and furred vest, and what leopard-like teeth, and what flaxen hair, but all mildewed;—is that he?”
“Yea, is it, lovely charmer,” said Allen, like an Ottoman, bowing over his broad, bovine forehead, and breathing the words out like a lute; “it is he—Ethan Allen, the soldier; now, since ladies’ eyes visit him, made trebly a captive.”
“Why, he talks like a beau in a parlor, this wild, mossed American from the woods,” sighed another fair lady to her mate; “but can this be he we came to see? I must have a lock of his hair.”