“Agreement
Between
Frank Goodman, Philanthropist, and Citizen of the World,
and
William Cream, Barber of the Mississippi steamer, Fidèle.
“The first hereby agrees to make good to the last any loss that may come from his trusting mankind, in the way of his vocation, for the residue of the present trip; PROVIDED that William Cream keep out of sight, for the given term, his notification of No Trust, and by no other mode convey any, the least hint or intimation, tending to discourage men from soliciting trust from him, in the way of his vocation, for the time above specified; but, on the contrary, he do, by all proper and reasonable words, gestures, manners, and looks, evince a perfect confidence in all men, especially strangers; otherwise, this agreement to be void.
“Done, in good faith, this 1st day of April 18—, at a quarter to twelve o’clock, P. M., in the shop of said William Cream, on board the said boat, Fidèle.”
“There, barber; will that do?”
“That will do,” said the barber, “only now put down your name.”
Both signatures being affixed, the question was started by the barber, who should have custody of the instrument; which point, however, he settled for himself, by proposing that both should go together to the captain, and give the document into his hands—the barber hinting that this would be a safe proceeding, because the captain was necessarily a party disinterested, and, what was more, could not, from the nature of the present case, make anything by a breach of trust. All of which was listened to with some surprise and concern.
“Why, barber,” said the cosmopolitan, “this don’t show the right spirit; for me, I have confidence in the captain purely because he is a man; but he shall have nothing to do with our affair; for if you have no confidence in me, barber, I have in you. There, keep the paper yourself,” handing it magnanimously.
“Very good,” said the barber, “and now nothing remains but for me to receive the cash.”
Though the mention of that word, or any of its singularly numerous equivalents, in serious neighborhood to a requisition upon one’s purse, is attended with a more or less noteworthy effect upon the human countenance, producing in many an abrupt fall of it—in others, a writhing and screwing up of the features to a point not undistressing to behold, in some, attended with a blank pallor and fatal consternation—yet no trace of any of these symptoms was visible upon the countenance of the cosmopolitan, notwithstanding nothing could be more sudden and unexpected than the barber’s demand.
“You speak of cash, barber; pray in what connection?”