“But who was it you laughed at? or rather, tried to laugh at?” demanded the young clergyman, flushing, “me?”
“Neither you nor any one within a thousand miles of you. But perhaps you don’t believe it.”
“If he were of a suspicious temper, he might not,” interposed the man in gray calmly, “it is one of the imbecilities of the suspicious person to fancy that every stranger, however absent-minded, he sees so much as smiling or gesturing to himself in any odd sort of way, is secretly making him his butt. In some moods, the movements of an entire street, as the suspicious man walks down it, will seem an express pantomimic jeer at him. In short, the suspicious man kicks himself with his own foot.”
“Whoever can do that, ten to one he saves other folks’ sole-leather,” said the wooden-legged man with a crusty attempt at humor. But with augmented grin and squirm, turning directly upon the young clergyman, “you still think it was you I was laughing at, just now. To prove your mistake, I will tell you what I was laughing at; a story I happened to call to mind just then.”
Whereupon, in his porcupine way, and with sarcastic details, unpleasant to repeat, he related a story, which might, perhaps, in a good-natured version, be rendered as follows:
A certain Frenchman of New Orleans, an old man, less slender in purse than limb, happening to attend the theatre one evening, was so charmed with the character of a faithful wife, as there represented to the life, that nothing would do but he must marry upon it. So, marry he did, a beautiful girl from Tennessee, who had first attracted his attention by her liberal mould, and was subsequently recommended to him through her kin, for her equally liberal education and disposition. Though large, the praise proved not too much. For, ere long, rumor more than corroborated it, by whispering that the lady was liberal to a fault. But though various circumstances, which by most Benedicts would have been deemed all but conclusive, were duly recited to the old Frenchman by his friends, yet such was his confidence that not a syllable would he credit, till, chancing one night to return unexpectedly from a journey, upon entering his apartment, a stranger burst from the alcove: “Begar!” cried he, “now I begin to suspec.”
His story told, the wooden-legged man threw back his head, and gave vent to a long, gasping, rasping sort of taunting cry, intolerable as that of a high-pressure engine jeering off steam; and that done, with apparent satisfaction hobbled away.
“Who is that scoffer,” said the man in gray, not without warmth. “Who is he, who even were truth on his tongue, his way of speaking it would make truth almost offensive as falsehood. Who is he?”
“He who I mentioned to you as having boasted his suspicion of the negro,” replied the young clergyman, recovering from disturbance, “in short, the person to whom I ascribe the origin of my own distrust; he maintained that Guinea was some white scoundrel, betwisted and painted up for a decoy. Yes, these were his very words, I think.”
“Impossible! he could not be so wrong-headed. Pray, will you call him back, and let me ask him if he were really in earnest?”