“Very exquisite indeed; let me have a bit of it, will you, Cuticle?”
“Let you have a bit of it!” shrieked the Surgeon, starting back. “Let you have one of my limbs! I wouldn’t mar so large a specimen for a hundred dollars; but what can you want of it? You are not making collections!”
“I’m fond of the article,” said the Lieutenant; “it’s a fine cold relish to bacon or ham. You know, I was in New Zealand last cruise, Cuticle, and got into sad dissipation there among the cannibals; come, let’s have a bit, if it’s only a mouthful.”
“Why, you infernal Feejee!” shouted Cuticle, eyeing the other with a confounded expression; “you don’t really mean to eat a piece of this cancer?”
“Hand it to me, and see whether I will not,” was the reply.
“In God’s name, take it!” cried the Surgeon, putting the case into his hands, and then standing with his own uplifted.
“Steward!” cried the Lieutenant, “the castor—quick! I always use plenty of pepper with this dish, Surgeon; it’s oystery. Ah! this is really delicious,” he added, smacking his lips over a mouthful. “Try it now, Surgeon, and you’ll never keep such a fine dish as this, lying uneaten on your hands, as a mere scientific curiosity.”
Cuticle’s whole countenance changed; and, slowly walking up to the table, he put his nose close to the tin case, then touched its contents with his finger and tasted it. Enough. Buttoning up his coat, in all the tremblings of an old man’s rage he burst from the ward-room, and, calling for a boat, was not seen again for twenty-four hours.
But though, like all other mortals, Cuticle was subject at times to these fits of passion—at least under outrageous provocation—nothing could exceed his coolness when actually employed in his imminent vocation. Surrounded by moans and shrieks, by features distorted with anguish inflicted by himself, he yet maintained a countenance almost supernaturally calm; and unless the intense interest of the operation flushed his wan face with a momentary tinge of professional enthusiasm, he toiled away, untouched by the keenest misery coming under a fleet-surgeon’s eye. Indeed, long habituation to the dissecting-room and the amputation-table had made him seemingly impervious to the ordinary emotions of humanity. Yet you could not say that Cuticle was essentially a cruel-hearted man. His apparent heartlessness must have been of a purely scientific origin. It is not to be imagined even that Cuticle would have harmed a fly, unless he could procure a microscope powerful enough to assist him in experimenting on the minute vitals of the creature.
But notwithstanding his marvellous indifference to the sufferings of his patients, and spite even of his enthusiasm in his vocation—not cooled by frosting old age itself—Cuticle, on some occasions, would effect a certain disrelish of his profession, and declaim against the necessity that forced a man of his humanity to perform a surgical operation. Especially was it apt to be thus with him, when the case was one of more than ordinary interest. In discussing it previous to setting about it, he would veil his eagerness under an aspect of great circumspection, curiously marred, however, by continual sallies of unsuppressible impatience. But the knife once in his hand, the compassionless surgeon himself, undisguised, stood before you. Such was Cadwallader Cuticle, our Surgeon of the Fleet.