“They say he can drop a leg in one minute and ten seconds from the moment the knife touches it,” whispered one of them to another.
“We shall see,” was the reply, and the speaker clapped his hand to his fob, to see if his watch would be forthcoming when wanted.
“Are you all ready here?” demanded Cuticle, now advancing to his steward; “have not those fellows got through yet?” pointing to three men of the carpenter’s gang, who were placing bits of wood under the gun-carriages supporting the central table.
“They are just through, sir,” respectfully answered the steward, touching his hand to his forehead, as if there were a cap-front there.
“Bring up the patient, then,” said Cuticle.
“Young gentlemen,” he added, turning to the row of Assistant Surgeons, “seeing you here reminds me of the classes of students once under my instruction at the Philadelphia College of Physicians and Surgeons. Ah, those were happy days!” he sighed, applying the extreme corner of his handkerchief to his glass-eye. “Excuse an old man’s emotions, young gentlemen; but when I think of the numerous rare cases that then came under my treatment, I cannot but give way to my feelings. The town, the city, the metropolis, young gentlemen, is the place for you students; at least in these dull times of peace, when the army and navy furnish no inducements for a youth ambitious of rising in our honourable profession. Take an old man’s advice, and if the war now threatening between the States and Mexico should break out, exchange your navy commissions for commissions in the army. From having no military marine herself, Mexico has always been backward in furnishing subjects for the amputation-tables of foreign navies. The cause of science has languished in her hands. The army, young gentlemen, is your best school; depend upon it. You will hardly believe it, Surgeon Bandage,” turning to that gentleman, “but this is my first important case of surgery in a nearly three years’ cruise. I have been almost wholly confined in this ship to doctor’s practice prescribing for fevers and fluxes. True, the other day a man fell from the mizzen-top-sail-yard; but that was merely an aggravated case of dislocations and bones splintered and broken. No one, sir, could have made an amputation of it, without severely contusing his conscience. And mine—I may say it, gentlemen, without ostentation is—peculiarly susceptible.”
And so saying, the knife and carver touchingly dropped to his sides, and he stood for a moment fixed in a tender reverie but a commotion being heard beyond the curtain, he started, and, briskly crossing and recrossing the knife and carver, exclaimed, “Ali, here comes our patient; surgeons, this side of the table, if you please; young gentlemen, a little further off, I beg. Steward, take off my coat—so; my neckerchief now; I must be perfectly unencumbered, Surgeon Patella, or I can do nothing whatever.”
These articles being removed, he snatched off his wig, placing it on the gun-deck capstan; then took out his set of false teeth, and placed it by the side of the wig; and, lastly, putting his forefinger to the inner angle of his blind eye, spirited out the glass optic with professional dexterity, and deposited that, also, next to the wig and false teeth.
Thus divested of nearly all inorganic appurtenances, what was left of the Surgeon slightly shook itself, to see whether anything more could be spared to advantage.
“Carpenter’s mates,” he now cried, “will you never get through with that job?”