The two friends wandered long among the trees, long they lay but found no sleep. And Govinda asked his friend over and over again why he would not take refuge in the teachings of Gotama, what fault could he find in these teachings. But Siddharth always rejected his insistence and said, “Learn to be in peace, Govinda. The teachings of the noble one are very good. How should I find any fault in them?”
As morning was breaking one of the buddha’s followers, one of his eldest monks, went through the garden and summoned all them who had newly chosen to take refuge in the teachings. They were to put on their yellow robes and receive their first instruction in the teachings and duties of their new status. Govinda ran to Siddhartha, embraced his childhood friend on more time, and went to join the ranks of the novices.
Siddhartha, however, wandered among the trees, deep in thought.
While he was there he came across Gotama, the noble one. Siddhartha greeted him with veneration. There was so much peace and goodness to be seen in the buddha’s eyes that the young man took courage and asked the venerable one’s permission to speak to him. The noble one gave his assent with a silent nod.
Siddhartha said, “Noble one, I was yesterday privileged to hear your wonderful teachings. I had come here from afar with a friend to hear them. My friend now will stay among your followers and take refuge with you. I, however, will start my pilgrimage anew.”
“You are free to do as you wish,” said the noble one politely.
“In speaking to you I have been more bold than I should have been,” Siddhartha continued, “but I would not want to depart from the noble one without having given him my sincere thoughts. Would the noble one be willing to give me another moment of his time to hear me?”
The buddha gave his assent with a silent nod.
Siddhartha said, “There is something, most venerable one, that I admired most of all in what you said. Everything in your teachings is perfectly clear and supported with proof; you depict the world as a perfect chain, never broken anywhere on its length, an eternal chain made up of causes and effects. This has never been made so clear, never set out so irrefutably; the heart of every brahman must surely beat at a higher level when he has heard your teachings and first sees the world of perfect coherence, without omissions, as clear as crystal, not dependent on chance, not dependent on any gods. This could be good or bad, could bring joy or sorrow to life, but it is not something we need to consider, it could well be that it is not of basic importance - but the unity of the world, that all events are inter-related, the flow of existence that embraces all things great and small, the law of cause and effect, existence and death, all these things shine brightly out from your noble teachings, o perfect one. But there is a place in your own teachings where this cohesion, this sound argument that governs all things is interrupted, there is a small hole where something strange, something new, something not previously there flows into this world, it is something that cannot be shown, cannot be proved: this is your teaching about not being overcome by the world, your teaching about liberation. With this tiny hole, with this tiny intrusion the entire coherent and eternal world-order is once again broken down and cannot be maintained. I hope you will forgive me for voicing this objection.”
Gotama had listened to him still and unmoving. Now, with his benevolent voice, with his clear and polite voice, the perfect one spoke: “You have listened to the teachings, brahmin’s son, and it is good that you have thought so deeply about them. You have found a gap in them, a mistake. I hope you will continue to think about the teachings, you have a thirst for knowledge, but you should be warned of the thickets of beliefs and of quibbles around words. Beliefs are not important, they can be beautiful or ugly, clever or foolish, anyone can stay attached to them or throw them away. But the teachings that you heard from me are not beliefs and I was not trying to explain the world to them who have a thirst for knowledge. I was attempting something quite different, I was attempting to show how to gain liberation from suffering. This is what Gotama teaches, nothing else.”