Lilly couldn't bear her to go in such an agitated state of mind.
"If you feel that it is a poison in your blood, that it must ruin you, why don't you guard against it? Why don't you conquer the feeling? Force of will can do a lot."
"I have often said so to myself," replied Frau Jula, "but I have never had anyone to confide in about it who could help me. Now I have found you it will be easier. Now I almost feel as if I could--could conquer it."
"Will you promise me to try?" asked Lilly, holding out her hand.
"Yes, I promise," she cried, and shook hands joyously. "You are going to be my saviour. You are already. And to thank you, I will keep a sharp lookout that you aren't spoilt. You shall never be what I am, and what the others are."
"Oh, I can look after myself," murmured Lilly.
"Ah, so you say! But when the dreary void comes, and he grows more and more unsatisfying and colourless, you have nothing to say to each other, and you mustn't have children.... None of us have them, because we all know how to prevent their coming. He lets you have no part or lot in his affairs, and you feel behind everything how his family hates you. They think we are a species of harpy. And then how constantly he proclaims his intention of marrying when he wants most to annoy us! And, above all, there's the longing ... it's like an everlasting dead gnawing toothache ... yes, it's just like toothache. Wherever you are, it torments you. For life cannot end like this, you say to yourself; something must happen at last. Oh, it's ten times worse than marriage! Wait and see if it isn't...."
Lilly's heart became ever sorer at her words. A wild misery clutched her.
"Pray say no more," she begged. "If it's to be, it'll come soon enough. I don't want to think about it."
"You are right, darling," said Frau Jula; "it does no good." And she took her leave.