HEYWOOD BROUN.

Some of these articles have appeared in the New York World, the New York Tribune, Vanity Fair, Collier's Weekly, The Bookman and Judge, and acknowledgment is made to these publications for permission to reprint.

CONTENTS

CHAPTERPAGE
[I]THE NOT IMPOSSIBLE SHEIK[17]
[II]JOHN ROACH STRATON[23]
[III]PRIVATE OWNERSHIP OF OFFSPRING[26]
[IV]G. K. C.[30]
[V]ON BEING A GOD[35]
[VI]CHIVALRY IS BORN[40]
[VII]RUTH VS. ROTH[45]
[VIII]THE BIGGER THE YEAR[49]
[IX]FOR OLD NASSAU[54]
[X]MR. DEMPSEY'S FIVE-FOOT SHELF[58]
[XI]SPORT FOR ART'S SAKE[64]
[XII]JACK THE GIANT KILLER[70]
[XIII]JUDGE KRINK[76]
[XIV]FRANKINCENSE AND MYRRH[79]
[XV]THE EXCELSIOR MOVEMENT[82]
[XVI]THE DOG STAR[86]
[XVII]ALTRUISTIC POKER[90]
[XVIII]THE WELL MADE REVUE[92]
[XIX]AN ADJECTIVE A DAY[96]
[XX]THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER[99]
[XXI]A TORTOISE SHELL HOME[101]
[XXII]I'D DIE FOR DEAR OLD RUTGERS[106]
[XXIII]ARE EDITORS PEOPLE?[111]
[XXIV]WE HAVE WITH US THIS EVENING—[116]
[XXV]THE YOUNG PESSIMISTS[124]
[XXVI]GLASS SLIPPERS BY THE GROSS[180]
[XXVII]A MODERN BEANSTALK[134]
[XXVIII]VOLSTEAD AND CONVERSATION[137]
[XXIX]LIFE, THE COPY CAT[143]
[XXX]THE ORTHODOX CHAMPION[149]
[XXXI]WITH A STEIN ON THE TABLE[153]
[XXXII]ART FOR ARGUMENT'S SAKE[159]
[XXXIII]NO RAHS FOR RAY[165]
[XXXIV]"AT ABOY!"[170]
[XXXV]HOW TO WIN MONEY AT THE RACES[174]
[XXXVI]ONE TOUCH OF SLAPSTICK[178]
[XXXVII]DANGER SIGNALS FOR READERS[183]
[XXXVIII]ADVENTURE MADE PAINLESS[188]
[XXXIX]THE TALL VILLA[197]
[XL]PROFESSOR GEORGE PIERCE BAKER[202]
[XLI]WHAT SHAKESPEARE MISSED[207]
[XLII]CENSORING THE CENSOR[222]

PIECES OF HATE

I
THE NOT IMPOSSIBLE SHEIK

Women must be peculiar people, if that. We have just finished "The Sheik," which is described on the jacket as possessing "ALL the intense passion and tender feeling of the most vivid love stories, almost brutal in its revelations."

Naturally, we read it. The author is English and named E. M. Hull. The publishers expand the "E" to Ethel, but we have a theory of our own. At any rate the novelist displays an extraordinary knowledge of feminine psychology. It is profound. It is also a little disturbing because it sounds so silly. After all, whether peculiar or not women are round about us almost everywhere, and we must make the best of them. Accordingly, it terrifies us to learn that if by any chance whatsoever we happen to hit one of them and knock her down she will become devoted to us forever. The man who knows this will think twice before he strikes a woman no matter what the provocation. He will be inclined to count ten before letting a blow go instead of after. Miss Hull's book deserves the widest possible circulation because of its persuasive propaganda for forebearance on the part of men in their dealings with women.

Seemingly, there are no exceptions to the rules about women laid down by Miss Hull. To state her theory concisely, the quickest way to reach a woman's heart is a right hook to the jaw. To take a specific instance, there was Miss Diana Mayo. She seemed an exception to the rule if ever a woman did. "My God, Diana! Beauty like yours drives a man mad!" said Arbuthnot, the young British lieutenant, in the moonlight at Biskra. More than that, "He whispered ardently, his hands closing over the slim ones lying in her lap." Those were her own.