“Between two policemen.”
Lord Halsbury (sympathetically): We quite understand, Sir Charles ... pray continue.
Sir Charles (hurriedly): I have been concerned, as a company-promoter and member of the Carlton Club, with gyroscopes, penny-in-the-slot machines, atmospheric double-gear brakes, man-lifting kites, clenched carrying chains, and many other labour-saving devices. I will deal first with the auto-motor-sheaf-binder. It was originally all British. (At this point Mr. Balfour handed a note marked “Urgent” to a messenger, who rushed from the room.) It was originally all British. Now, what happened? I will make myself clear. In every sheaf-binding machine the essential parts are a “binder” and a “clutch.” Now, the binder is familiar to you all ... (Here some clamour seemed to rise from the street) the clutch is more complicated. You must consider these in the clutch. Either the pick and the main-nut or (which is much the same) the spring, the oil-pan, and the “dagger.” I will draw a rough sketch.... (As the prisoner leant over the paper a loud cry of “Fire!” was raised without, several fire engines were heard ringing their bells and shouting down Whitehall. Immediately afterwards a four-inch stream of water burst into the room and played upon the Court.
The Committee rose in the utmost trepidation and alarm, and the whole Court poured down the historic staircase. Several young gentlemen were crushed, one beyond recovery, and a grave tragedy was only averted by the presence of mind of Mr. Balfour and Mr. Chamberlain, who escaped with dignity and composure by another entry, and so relieved the pressure. Nevertheless, the fruits of the day were, it is feared, wholly lost, and no conclusion was arrived at.)
DUMPING.
At the fourth meeting of the Cabinet Committee, appointed by its own members, with right of co-option, to discover by what means our Fiscal Relations—suitable, no doubt, for an earlier age—might be brought into closer relation, or relations, with the modern, &c., &c.... All the members arrived most punctually, several peers waiting outside in the rain for some moments before the doors opened. (Paragraph.)
When the Bench was seated, silence was imposed by the voice of a herald, and Mr. Chamberlain rose:
He assured the Court he would detain them but a few moments. Lord Byron had wittily said that still waters ran deep, and he, for his part, after a long life spent in close, hard-headed bargaining, had noticed that the less a man said, the more he was worth. It was a rule he himself had always observed. In his conception of Empire, the silent man, who never spoke, but did, should rule until he reached the sky.
(Here Lord Lansdowne began muttering to himself, Lord Halsbury openly pulled out his watch, Mr. Balfour shut his eyes and crossed his legs, and the Duke of Marlborough said “Hear, hear!” in a subdued voice.)