SECTION V. Foreign nations, in a fit of madness, are perpetually forcing presents upon us, to the ruin of our legitimate trade. Patriots who attempt to refuse these gifts are met by threats.
A well-known alderman, of Peckham, who persistently bought English wine in preference to foreign trash, has recently died in torment under the suspicion of poison.
A promising young clerk and poet, known as Balmy Jim, who dressed exclusively in clothes of his own manufacture, has been discovered hanging to a tree in Richmond Park.
The Rev. Charles Henty, Fellow of St. Barnabas, who broke a lot of glass in Kew Gardens to encourage English glazing, has been incarcerated.
SECTION VI. No less than fourteen professors of political economy have pointed out, in a very able manifesto, that they differ from some of the most remarkable of our politicians upon fiscal matters. This alone should show the intense interest aroused by the whole question, and the absurdity of pretending that an inquiry was not demanded.
SECTION VII. We are informed by our colleagues that they have been scurrilously attacked by no less than fourteen pedants, whom they believe to be in the pay of foreign powers. This is not the kind of accusation that can be proved or disproved. It suffices to show the importance of the issues before us.
SECTION VIII. The Editors of the Daily Mail, of the Spectator, of the Standard, and so forth, have suddenly turned nasty against the Editors of the Times, the Daily Express, the Globe, and what not, whoever they may be. This alone should show, &c., &c.
SECTION IX. The Duke of Devonshire has made some most irritating remarks, so has Sir John Gorst. This alone, &c., &c.