Henry put down the bag and the suit-case, removed his straw hat, and grinned, with a fair imitation of cheerfulness. He had never learned how to handle Aunt Mirabelle, and small wonder; for if he listened in silence, he was called sulky; if he disputed her, he was called flippant; if he agreed with her, she accused him of fraud; and if he obeyed his natural 3 instincts, and treated her with tolerant good-humour, she usually went on a conversation strike, and never weakened until after the twelfth apology. Whatever he did was wrong, so that purely on speculation, he grinned, and said what came to his tongue.
“Maybe so,” said Henry, “maybe so, but conscience is a plant of slow growth,” and immediately after he had said this, he wished that he had chosen a different epigram––something which wasn’t so liable to come back at him, later, like a boomerang.
“Humph!” said Aunt Mirabelle. “It is, is it? Well, if I was in your place, I’d be impatient for it to grow faster.”
Henry shook his head. “No, I don’t believe you would. I’ve read somewhere that impatience dries the blood more than age or sorrow.” He assumed an air of critical satisfaction. “The bird that wrote that had pretty good technique, don’t you think?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “All right, Henry. Be pert. But I know what made you so almighty anxious to sneak off on this house-party; and I know whose account it was you 4 went on, too, and I don’t see for the life of me why your uncle hasn’t put his foot down.” She sighed, as though in deep mourning. “I did hope you’d grow up different from these other boys, Henry, but you’re all of you just alike. When you get old enough, do you pick out some pure, innocent, sensible, young woman that’s been trained the way girls were trained in my day? No. You go and make fools of yourselves over these short-skirted little hussies all powdered up like a box of marshmallows. And as long as they’re spry enough and immodest enough to do all these new bunny dances and what not, you think that’s a sure sign they’ll make good wives and mothers. Humph. Makes me sick.”
In spite of himself, Henry lost his artificial grin, and began to turn dull red. “I wouldn’t go quite so far as to say that.”
“Well,” retorted Aunt Mirabelle, “I didn’t hardly expect you would. But you’ll go far enough to see one of ’em, I notice.... Well, your uncle’s home this afternoon; long’s he’s paying your bills, you might have the grace to go in and say howdy-you-do to him.” She 5 marched upstairs, and Henry, revolving his hat in his hand, gazed after her until she was out of sight. He stood, irresolute, until the echo of her common-sense shoes died into silence; and as he lingered, he was struck for the ten thousandth time by the amazing mystery of the human family.
First, there was his mother, a small and exquisite woman with music in her heart and in the tips of her fingers; his memory of her was dim, but he knew that she had been the maddest and the merriest of all possible mothers––a creature of joy and sunshine and the sheer happiness of existence. And then her sister Mirabelle, who found life such a serious condition to be in, and loved nothing about it, save the task of reforming it for other people whether the other people liked it or not. And finally, her brother John, bald, fat, and good-natured; a man whose personal interests were bounded by his own physical comfort, and by his desire to see everyone else equally comfortable. Whenever Henry thought of this trio, he reflected that his grandparents must have been very versatile.
He drew a long breath, and glanced up the stairway, as though the spirit of his Aunt Mirabelle were still haunting him; then, with a depressing recollection of what she had said about his conscience, and with hot resentment at what she said about his taste, he walked slowly into the library.