PART FIRST
PREFACE
IN WHICH EVERY ONE WILL FIND HIS OWN IMPRESSIONS OF MARRIAGE.
A friend, in speaking to you of a young woman, says: “Good family,
well bred, pretty, and three hundred thousand in her own right.”
You have expressed a desire to meet this charming creature.
Usually, chance interviews are premeditated. And you speak with
this object, who has now become very timid.
YOU.—“A delightful evening!”
SHE.—“Oh! yes, sir.”
You are allowed to become the suitor of this young person.
THE MOTHER-IN-LAW (to the intended groom).—“You can’t imagine how
susceptible the dear girl is of attachment.”
Meanwhile there is a delicate pecuniary question to be discussed
by the two families.
YOUR FATHER (to the mother-in-law).—“My property is valued at
five hundred thousand francs, my dear madame!”
YOUR FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW.—“And our house, my dear sir, is on a
corner lot.”
A contract follows, drawn up by two hideous notaries, a small one,
and a big one.
Then the two families judge it necessary to convoy you to the
civil magistrate’s and to the church, before conducting the bride
to her chamber.
Then what?... Why, then come a crowd of petty unforeseen
troubles, like the following:
PETTY TROUBLES OF MARRIED LIFE
THE UNKINDEST CUT OF ALL.
Is it a petty or a profound trouble? I knew not; it is profound for your sons-in-law or daughters-in-law, but exceedingly petty for you.
“Petty! You must be joking; why, a child costs terribly dear!” exclaims a ten-times-too-happy husband, at the baptism of his eleventh, called the little last newcomer,—a phrase with which women beguile their families.