“You are very fortunate, sir——”
“The first inventor of ditches must have been a weakling, for society is only useful to the puny. The savage and the philosopher, at either extreme of the moral scale, hold property in equal horror.”
“All very fine!” said Cardot; “but if there were no property, there would be no documents to draw up.”
“These green peas are excessively delicious!”
“And the cure was found dead in his bed in the morning....”
“Who is talking about death? Pray don’t trifle, I have an uncle.”
“Could you bear his loss with resignation?”
“No question.”
“Gentlemen, listen to me! How to kill an uncle. Silence! (Cries of “Hush! hush!”) In the first place, take an uncle, large and stout, seventy years old at least, they are the best uncles. (Sensation.) Get him to eat a pate de foie gras, any pretext will do.”
“Ah, but my uncle is a thin, tall man, and very niggardly and abstemious.”