The philosopher saw that I was serious in my desire, and his face lit up with approval as he said, "It is not easy to communicate at a sitting what took me years of study to learn, but I can at least put you in the way of a start. I can tell you where to begin to grow. You must first get rid of anger and worry." "But," said I, "is that possible?" "Yes," replied he, "it is possible to the Japanese, and ought to be possible to us."
I was startled at the suggestion of the possibility of the entire repression of anger and worry. I knew that their repression was counselled by Christianity and Buddhism, and presumably by all codes of religion and ethics; but I had never considered getting rid of them as a human possibility, except under conditions of health and wealth and ease, to which few, if any, ever attain.
Get rid of Anger and Worry On my walk back to the Parker House, a distance of fully two miles, I could not think of anything else but the words, "get rid," "get rid;" and the idea must have continued to possess me during my sleeping hours, for the first consciousness in the morning brought back the same thought, with the revelation of a discovery, which framed itself into the reasoning, "If it is possible to get rid of anger and worry, why is it necessary to have them at all?" I felt the strength of the argument and at once accepted the reasoning. The baby had discovered that it could walk. It would scorn to creep any longer.
Anger and Worry Instantly Removed From the instant I realized that these cancer spots of worry and anger were removable, they left me. With the discovery of their weakness they were exorcised. From that time life has had an entirely changed aspect.
Although from that moment the possibility and desirability of freedom from the depressing passions has been a reality to me, it took me some months to feel absolute security in my new position; but, as the usual occasions for worry and anger have presented themselves over and over again, and I have been unable to feel them in the slightest degree, I no longer dread or guard against them, and I am amazed at my increased energy and vigor of mind;—at my strength to meet situations of all kinds, and at my disposition to love and appreciate everything.
Wonderful Photographic Films I have had occasion to travel more than ten thousand miles by rail since that morning; North, South, East and West, with the varying comforts and discomforts, as they used to be. The same Pullman porter, conductor, hotel waiter, peddler, book-agent, cabman, and others, who were formerly a source of annoyance and irritation have been met, but I am not conscious of a single incivility. All at once the whole world Sensitive only to Goodhas turned good to me. I am sure the change is not so much in the world as in me. I have become, as it were, sensitive only to the rays of good, as some photographic films of recent invention are sensitive only to certain single colored rays of light.
If we are wise we never leave school. When the academy and the college have put us through their curriculum, we have still before us the example of Nature, and the walks of Science, and Art, and Brotherhood, in which to search for suggestions to be applied in menticulture. May we not learn a lesson from the newly discovered film?
Should not the chemical condition of selection be more difficult than a similar voluntary mental accomplishment? In comparison with a similar process in physics the more pliable material of the mind ought to be fashioned with greater ease.
A Fortunate Disappointment I could recount many experiences which prove a brand new condition of mind, but one more will be sufficient. Without the slightest feeling of annoyance or impatience I have seen a train that I had planned to take with a good deal of interested and pleasurable anticipation, move out of a station without me, because my baggage did not arrive. The porter from the hotel came running and panting into the station just as the train pulled out of sight. When he saw me he looked as if he feared a scolding, and began to tell of being blocked in a crowded street and unable to get out. When he had finished, I said to him, "It doesn't matter at all, you couldn't help it, so we will try it again to-morrow. Here is your fee, I am sorry you had all this trouble in earning it." The look of surprise that came over his face was so filled with pleasure that I was repaid on the spot for the delay in my departure. Next day he would not accept a cent for the service, and he and I are friends for life. The sequence of this incident has no bearing on its value, but it has a significance. Had I taken the train I missed, I would have been caught in a wreck in which two persons were killed and several wounded, while my stay over in Cleveland proved to be both pleasant and profitable.
During the first weeks of my experience I was on guard only against worry and anger; but, in the meantime, having noticed the absence of the other depressing and dwarfing passions, I began to trace a relationship, until I was convinced that they are all growths from the two roots I have specified.