Children brought up in the house of their parents were taught the worship of the gods, and were frequently conducted to the temple in order that they might witness the religious performances. Military men instructed their sons in the use of weapons and the art of war, and lost no opportunity of inuring them to danger, always endeavoring to inspire courage and daring. Laborers and artisans usually taught their children their own trade. The sons of the nobles who were placed in the seminaries were never permitted to go out unless accompanied by one of the superiors of the temple; their food was brought to them by their parents. The punishments inflicted were excessively severe. Liars had thorns thrust into their lips; and sometimes, if the fault was frequent, their lips were slightly split. Those who were negligent or disobedient were bound hand and foot, and pricked with thorns or badly pinched. A girl who was detected looking at or speaking to a man was severely punished; and if addicted to walking the streets, her feet were tied together, and pricked with sharp thorns.[177]
There was in Tezcuco, during the reign of Nezahualcoyotl, a large seminary, built upon the west side of the temple, which consisted of several spacious halls and rooms, with a courtyard, and was called the tlacoteo. Here the king's sons were brought up and instructed. The guardians and tutors who had charge of them took much pains to instruct them in everything becoming their high estate. Besides the use of arms, they were taught all the arts and sciences as far as then known, and were made fully acquainted with the practical working of precious metals and stones. Separate rooms were devoted to the use of the king's daughters, where they were given an education fitting their station. In accordance with a law of the realm, the king, his children and relatives, with their guardians and masters, and the grandees of the kingdom, came together every eighty days, in a large hall of the tlacoteo; all were seated according to rank; the males on one side, and the females on the other. All the men, even those of royal blood, were dressed in coarse garments of nequen, or maguey-fibre. An orator ascended a sort of pulpit and commenced a discourse, in which he censured those who had done badly during the last eighty days, and praised those who had done well; this he did without favor, not even hesitating to blame the king if he saw fit. The discourse was delivered with such eloquence and feeling as generally to move the audience to tears.[178]
A PARENT'S DISCOURSE TO HIS SONS.
Sahagun, Motolinia, Mendieta, and other early writers, who were well acquainted with the Mexican language, give us specimens of the exhortations delivered by parents to their children. I select one from the first-mentioned author, as an example: "Give ear unto me and hearken, O my sons," says the Mexican parent, "because I am your father; and I, though unworthy, am chosen by the gods to rule and govern this city. Thou who art my first-born and the eldest of thy brothers; and thou the second, and thou the third, and thou the last and least—know that I am anxious and concerned, lest some of you should prove worthless in after life; lest, peradventure, not one among you should prove worthy to bear my dignities and honors after me; perhaps it is the will of the gods that the house which I have with so great labor built up, shall fall to the ground and remain a ruin and a dung-hill; that my name shall be no more remembered among men; that after my death no man shall speak well of me. Hear now the words that I shall speak unto you, that you may learn how to be of use in the world, and how to draw near unto the gods that they may show favor to you; for this I say unto you, that those who weep and are grieved; those who sigh, pray and ponder; those who are watchful at night, and wakeful in the morning; those who diligently keep the temples cleanly and in order; those who are reverent and prayerful—all these find favor with the gods; to all such the gods give riches, honor, and prosperity, even as they give them to those who are strong in battle. It is by such deeds the gods know their friends, and to such they give high rank and military distinctions; success in battle, and an honorable place in the hall of justice; making them parents of the sun, that they may give meat and drink not only to the gods of heaven, but also to the gods of hell; and such as are thus honored are revered by all brave men and warriors: all men look on them as their parents, because the gods have shown them favor; and have rendered them fit to hold high offices and dignities and to govern with justice; they are placed near the god of fire, the father of all the gods, whose dwelling is in the water surrounded by turreted walls of flowers, and who is called Ayamictlan and Xiuhtecutli; or they are made lords of the rank of Tlacatecutli or Tlacochtecutli, or they are given some lower post of honor. Perchance they are given some such office as I now hold, not through any merit of my own, but because the gods know not my unworthiness. I am not what I am by my own asking; never did I say, I wish to be so and so, I desire this or that honor; the gods have done me this honor of their own will, for surely all is theirs, and all that is given comes from their hand; nor shall any one say, I desire this or that honor, for the gods give as they please and to whom they please, and stand in need of counsel from none. Harken, my sons, to another sorrow that afflicts me when I arise at midnight to pray and do penance. Then I ponder many things, and my heart rises and sinks even as one who goes up and down mountains, for I am satisfied with no one of you. Thou, my eldest son, dost not give any sign of improvement, I see in thee nothing manly, thou remainest ever a boy, thy conduct does not become an elder brother. And thou, my second son, and thou, my third, I see in you no discretion or manliness; peradventure it is because you are second and third that you have become careless. What will become of you in the world? Lo, now, are you not the children of noble parents? Your parents are not tillers of the soil or wood-cutters. What, I say again, will become of you? Do you wish to be nothing but merchants, to carry a staff in your hands and a load on your backs? Will you become laborers and work with your hands? Harken, my sons, and give heed unto my words, and I will point out to you those things which you shall do. See to the proper observance of the dances, and the music, and the singing, for thus will you please both the people and the gods; for with music and singing are favors and riches gained. Endeavor to learn some honorable trade or profession, such as working in feathers or precious metals; for by such means bread can be obtained in time of necessity. Pay attention to every branch of agriculture, for the earth desires not food or drink, but only to bring forth and produce. Your fathers sought to understand these things, for though they were gentlemen and nobles they took care that their estate should be properly cultivated. If you think only of your high rank and are unmindful of these things, how will you support your family, in no part of the world does anyone support himself by his gentility only. But above all study well to provide all those things which are necessary for the sustenance of the body, for these are the very foundation of our being, and rightly are they called tonacaiutltomio, that is to say our flesh and bones, because it is by them that we work, live, and are strong. There is no man in the world but what eats, for each one has a stomach and intestines. The greatest lords need food, the most valiant warrior must carry a bag of victuals. By the sustenance of the body life is upheld, by it the world is peopled. See, therefore, my sons, that you be careful to plant the corn and the magueys, for do we not know that fruit is the delight of children; truly it cools and quenches the thirst of the little ones. And you, boys, do you not like fruit? But how will you get it if you do not plant and grow it. Give heed, my sons, to the conclusion of my discourse, and let it be written upon your hearts. Many more things could I say, but my task would never be ended. A few more words only will I add that have been handed down to us from our forefathers. Firstly, I counsel you to propitiate the gods, who are invisible and impalpable, giving them your whole soul and body. Look to it that you are not puffed up with pride, that you are neither obstinate, nor of a weak, vacillating mind, but take heed to be meek and humble and to put your trust in the gods, lest they visit your transgressions upon you, for from them nothing can be hidden, they punish how and whom they please. Secondly, my sons, endeavor to live at peace with your fellow-men. Treat all with deference and respect; if any speak ill of you answer them not again; be kind and affable to all, yet converse not too freely with any; slander no man; be patient, returning good for evil, and the gods will amply avenge your wrongs. Lastly, my children, be not wasteful of your goods nor of your time, for both are precious; at all seasons pray to the gods and take counsel with them; be diligent about those things which are useful. I have spoken enough, my duty is done. Peradventure you will forget or take no heed of my words. As you will. I have done my duty, let him profit by my discourse who chooses."[179]
MARRIAGE.
The customary marrying-age for young men was from twenty to twenty-two, and for girls from eleven to eighteen.[180] Marriages between blood relations or those descended from a common ancestor were not allowed. A brother could, and was enjoined to, marry his deceased brother's wife, but this was only considered a duty if the widow had offspring by the first marriage, in order that the children might not be fatherless.[181] When a youth reached a marriageable age, he or his parents asked permission of his teacher. He seldom was allowed any choice of his own, but was expected to abide by the selection of his parents. It rarely happened that a marriage took place without the sanction of parents or relatives, and he who presumed to choose his own wife, or married without such consent, had to undergo penance, and was looked upon as ungrateful, ill-bred, and apostate. In some parts the high priest commanded them to marry when they arrived at the proper age, and he who refused to comply was obliged to remain continent through life, and dedicate the remainder of his days to the service of the gods. Should he afterward repent and desire to marry, he was despised by all his friends and publicly denounced as infamous, inasmuch as he had shown himself to be devoid of firmness, and unable to keep the vow of chastity to which he had voluntarily bound himself; nor would any respectable woman afterward accept him as a husband. In Tlascala, if any one carelessly allowed the time to pass by without taking a wife, or deciding upon a life of chastity, his hair was cut short and he was driven out from the company of the youths with whom he was educated.
Cutting the hair formed a part of the marriage ceremony, but the mode of cutting was different from that of the penalty.[182] When the time came for the parents to choose a wife for their son, all the relations were called together and informed by the father that the youth had now reached an age when he should be provided with a wife; for that he was now a man, and must learn how to perform the duties of a man, and refrain from boyish tricks and promiscuous intercourse with women. The youth was then summoned before his parents, and his father addressed him, saying: "My son, thou art now a man, and it seems to us proper to search among the maidens for a wife for thee. Ask thy tutors for permission to separate thyself from thy friends, the youths with whom thou hast been educated. Make known our wishes to those called Telpuchtlatoque, who have the charge of thee." The youth in answer expressed his willingness and desire to enter into their plans. The parents then set about preparing a quantity of food, such as tamales, chocolate, and other dishes; and also provided a small axe, which was to bear a part in the next proceeding. The repast being prepared, an invitation was sent to the priests who were instructors of the youth, accompanied with presents of food and pipes of tobacco; all the relations were also invited. When the meal was finished, the relations, and guardians of the ward in which the parents of the pair lived, seated themselves. Then one of the youth's relations, addressing the priestly instructors of the youth said: "Here, in the presence of all, we beg of you not to be troubled because this lad, our son, desires to withdraw from your company, and to take a wife; behold this axe, it is a sign that he is anxious to separate from you; according to our Mexican custom, take it, and leave us the youth." Then the priest answered: "I, and the young men with whom your son has been educated have heard how that you have determined to marry him and that from henceforward, forever, he will be parted from us; let everything be done as you wish." The tutor of the youth next addressed him, entreating him to persevere in the paths of virtue, not to forget the teachings he has received, and to continue to be a zealous servant of the gods; he advised him that as he was now about to take a wife he must be careful to provide for her support, and to bring up and instruct his children in the same manner as he had been educated. He adjured him to be courageous in battle, to honor and obey his parents, to show respect to his seniors and all aged persons; and so the speaker ambled morally along at some length, but I spare the reader the remainder of the discourse.[183] The priests then took their leave, bearing the axe with them, and the young man remained in his father's house.
PRELIMINARIES TO MARRIAGE CEREMONY.
Soon after this the parents called the relations together once more to consult upon the selection of a maiden suitable to be the wife of their son. Their first act, and one that was of paramount importance, was to ascertain the day and sign of his birth. If they were unable to remember or calculate the sign they called in the aid of astrologers, or soothsayers, who by certain reckonings and ceremonies interpreted all they sought to know. The birthday and sign of the damsel were in like manner ascertained. If the horoscope of both was favorable, the astrologers predicted a happy union with prosperity and good fortune to both, but if the signs did not agree they foretold adversity and evil fortune, and it became necessary to choose another maiden. Once assured of a favorable combination according to the auguries, steps were taken to obtain the consent of the girl's parents. For this purpose the parents and relatives of the youth commissioned two old women, chosen from among the most discreet and virtuous of the district, who were to act as negotiators in the affair; these were called cihuatlanque. They went on the part of the bridegroom and conveyed the message to the parents or nearest relatives of the young girl. Their first visit was made shortly after midnight or upon the following morning, upon which occasion they took with them some presents to offer to the girl's parents. Upon their arrival they commenced a suitable address, in which they formally solicited the hand of the girl in marriage. The first overture was invariably rejected and some frivolous excuse given, even though the girl's relatives might be more desirous of the match than those who solicited it. The embassy was told that the girl was not yet of an age to marry, or that she was not worthy of the honor offered her. After some few more such compliments had been paid, the matrons returned to those who had sent them. A few days having elapsed, the old women were sent back bearing more presents, and with instructions to again solicit the alliance, and to define clearly the position of the suitor, his qualifications and riches. Upon this second interview the negotiations assumed a more business-like aspect; the conversation turned upon the portion that each would bring to the other, and finally the relatives of the girl consented to consider the affair; yet they still maintained a semblance of reluctance, insisting that the girl was not worthy to become the wife of so estimable a young man; but adding that, as the matter was urged with so much importunity, they would on the morrow assemble all the relations of the young woman, that they might consult together about the affair; they then closed the conference by inviting their visitors to be present on that occasion and receive their final decision.
MARRIAGE CEREMONIES.