KWA NIU’S DERBY
KWA NIU’S DERBY
YOU know Shelford? What! Don’t know Shelford of the Customs? Then you’ve never heard how he won the Ping Tu Derby. Shelford, as I said, was in the Customs, and fate made him spend many years in the port of Ping Tu. You probably won’t find Ping Tu on the map, but, then, maps of China are often inaccurate, and the varieties of European spelling adopted by cartographers have led to confusion. Anyway Ping Tu is a not unimportant town. The river is navigable above it for some fifty miles, and Shelford was the head representative in that community of the Imperial Chinese Maritime Customs. In addition to this he probably knew more about the Chinese than any other European in the neighbourhood, and was moreover an all-round sportsman.
There were many sportsmen in Ping Tu, or, rather, everyone of the small community was entitled to style himself so. They possessed a club on the river bank where cocktails and whiskies and sodas were consumed, billiards and bowls could be indulged in, and, moreover, where ladies could entertain and be entertained on the verandah between the hours of three and seven in the afternoon.
Ping Tu, in addition, possessed a golf-links and a racecourse, and of the racecourse and Kwa Niu’s memorable Derby I will tell.
The Ping Tu race-meeting took place annually in February, and everyone who could afford to do so entered a horse. Horse, I say—I mean a China pony. And of course the great event of the meeting was the Derby. The ponies came from up North, and were drawn for by the subscribers as one draws in a sweepstake. Having drawn your pony, the next thing was to train it, and for many weeks the performances of these unattractive animals formed the sole topic of conversation at the Club bar, in verandahs, on the bund, and in ladies’ boudoirs.
Shelford drew a most unpromising brute of a flea-bitten Mongol pony. It was a pale yellow colour, had a head much too heavy for its forelegs, and a nose like a Roman senator. In addition to its unattractive appearance it possessed a violent dislike of white men, and in the first week bit the biceps out of a “ma foo” and the knee-cap off a grass-cutter. Shelford might have condoned these offences had the brute shown any promise, but the wretched animal proved to be exceptionally slow in its trials, so he named it “Kwa Niu” (The Snail).
The training proceeded, excitement in view of the forthcoming races in Ping Tu grew intense, and moreover a new Englishman had arrived in the port. He was a lank callow youth, fresh from Ireland, and burdened with the name of Gubbins.