A mongrel growth, jumble o’ disproportions,
Whirlin’ in its incredible contortions,
Or wad-be client that an auld whore shuns,
Wardin’ her wizened orange o’ a bosom
Frae importunities sae gruesome,
Or new diversion o’ the hormones
Mair fond o’ procreation than the Mormons,
And fetchin’ like a devastatin’ storm on’s
A’ the uncouth dilemmas o’ oor natur’
Objectified in vegetable maitter.