“Much worse.”
“Don’t add to the terrors o’ death, man, but come in and have a cup o’ tea. I set it a-brewin’ the moment I saw you.”
Walter could not be persuaded to leave his boat until every sail was furled and stowed away properly. He took his time over it, too; for he knew instinctively that he could not shine before Phœbe in the presence of such glib gentlemen. They were shining gloriously when he appeared, and their free laughter set him a-grinning before he knew the cause.
“Walter,” Phœbe called, “you’re the jury. I’m puttin’ these two good-lookin’ gentlemen through a cross-examination. Up to this moment I’ve been the judge and the prosecuting attorney and the jury, too; but it’s tryin’ on the nerves. I’m glad you came in when you did. The prisoners were insultin’ the Court with indecent flattery. I need a tipstave and a sheriff’s posse, I do. Sit ye there, boy; and decide fair. The charge against these two malefactors——”
“I object, your honour,” interrupted Jawn. “We can’t be malefactors until the charge is proved against us. You’ll be prejudicing the jury against us before he has finished his cup of tea. And besides, I told the jury to shut up this afternoon, so we’ll need all the close decisions.”
“Who’s tryin’ this case?” demanded Phœbe. “The charge is gallivantin’ with malice aforethought.”
“Gallivanting with intent to kill,” agreed Jawn. “We plead guilty.”
“Is this your first offence?” asked the “judge.”
“Good Lord!” ejaculated Jawn. “It’s my seventy-seventh! Do you take me for a fledgling? I’ve got records to prove it. My dear lady, I shaved when I was eleven.”
“May it please the Court,” Richard spoke with the gravest deference, and told of the passions of Jawn as illustrated in his forthcoming book, “Love Limericks of a Left-tenant.”