"Could you play a part, do you think?"
"Could I play a part?" repeated Mr. Stillbottle witheringly. "Could a duck swim? Why, I was in the profession, off and on, for a matter of fourteen years."
"In what capacity?" asked Mr. Welwyn, much interested.
"Well, I've bin a good many things," said the versatile Stillbottle, putting his feet up on the sofa. "I've bin a guest in the palace of the Dook of Alsatia; I 've bin the middle bit of the sea-serpent--what you might call the prime cut--in a ballet of fish; and I was once the second wave on the O.P. side of the storm what wrecked Sinbad the Sailor."
Mr. Welwyn smiled sympathetically. Here was another rolling stone.
"What made you abandon such a promising career, Mr. Stillbottle?" he asked.
The late prime cut of the sea-serpent shook his head gloomily.
"The old story," he said--"professional jealousy. It started with my bein' cast for the front legs of a elephant in a pantomime. That was the stage-manager's bit of spite. My usual place is the 'ind legs--and that takes a bit of doing, I can tell you. (The 'ind legs 'as to wag the tail, you see.) If I was to tell you the number of 'ind legs I'd played, you'd be surprised," he continued, plunging into an orgy of irrelevant reminiscence. "Why, I recollect in eighty-four, at the Old Brit., 'Oxton way--"
"But what was the matter with the front legs you were speaking of?" enquired Mr. Welwyn opportunely.
"The matter," replied Mr. Stillbottle testily, "was that they was n't 'ind legs. Not bein' used to them, I stepped in wrong way round on the first night. We got shoved on the stage somehow, but every time we started to move I ran straight into the 'ind legs. In the end we broke the elephant's back between us. What was more, we spoiled the Principal Boy's best song. The audience was much too occupied watchin' a elephant givin' a imitation of a camel to listen to 'er. Besides, she was sittin' on the elephant 'erself at the time, and bein' rather stout, 'ad 'er work cut out to 'old on. She got me fired next day. Said I was n't sober."