Myself. I therefore recommend you, sir, to go home and follow my example——
(Perfect tornado of laughter. Apparently I have made a home-thrust.)
—And after that, if you will come back to me and report the result of your—er—investigations—(yells)—I shall be happy to go into the matter with you more fully.
Triumphant cheers, and the blue-spectacled man collapses.
The unfortunate espouser of the cause of the fair having thus been derided out of court, I took up the next question. It concerned a long-standing dispute as to the rights of the clergy of various denominations to enter the local Board Schools,—this was in the days far preceding the present educational deadlock,—and I felt that I must walk warily. I talked at large about liberty of conscience and religious toleration, but realised as I rambled on that my moderate views and want of bigotry in one direction or the other were pleasing no one. John Bull is a curious creature. You may get drunk and beat your wife, and he will tolerate you; you may run amok through most of the Decalogue, and he will still be your friend; but venture to worship your Maker in a fashion which differs one tittle from his own, and he will put down his pint-pot or desist from sanding the sugar and fell you to the earth. I was glad to get away from this subject, leaving the audience far from satisfied, and turn to the next question. It said—
Is the Candidate aware that the important township of Spratling is entirely without a pier or jetty of any description?
"Certainly I am aware of it," I replied, trying hard to remember where the place was. The audience began to titter, and I felt uneasy.
My questioner, a saturnine gentleman in the pit, rose to his feet and continued—
"And if returned to Parliament, will you exert your influence to see that a jetty is constructed there at the earliest opportunity?"
"Cer——" There was a very slight movement beside me. Robin was leaning back unconcernedly in his chair, but on the table under my nose lay a sheet of paper bearing these words in large printed capitals—