Dr. Forbes Ross, an eminent English physician, has discovered that in two thousand years the men will have degenerated into gorillas. The women can save the race, he says, but not if they insist on the vote. The women will probably answer that they will take the vote now and run the risk of the gorillas two thousand years hence. And, when one comes to think of it, after the treatment the suffragists in England have received from some of the present generation of men, gorillas would have no terrors for them!
Another English doctor heard from! This one deprecates the present style of dress because “it does away with the mystery in women, which is greatly against their own interests.” Let the doctor calm himself—woman will always be enough of a mystery to keep the men busy guessing.
A Florida woman writes to the National Suffrage Association for permission to organize a troop of cavalry women, arm them with light rifles and send them to the Legislature to get a suffrage bill. The Southern women have been rather slow to get started but when they do they will go on horseback where the Northern women have gone on foot.
The chivalry of medieval times was of poor quality compared with the brand they have in Kansas. A man out there was too chivalrous to stand as candidate for an office when he found his opponent was a woman. This is a vast improvement on going to war with your lady’s handkerchief on the point of your spear.
On the adjournment of Congress, when the men who had been fighting each other for months and using language that had to be expunged from the Record fell on one another’s necks and wept and sang “Blest be the tie that binds”—it was then the women in the gallery realized that their sex is far too emotional and hysterical ever to make the laws for the nation.