Charles Street, March 25, 1780.
DEAR MADAM,
I AND mine have a thousand things to thank you for—shall I say the plain truth, and own I am proud to know that you care for me and my little ones? your friendly attention to our interests proves it—but mortals of your cast are oftener envied than loved:—the majority, who are composed chiefly of the narrow-minded or contracted hearts, and of selfish avidity, cannot comprehend the delight in doing as they would be done by—and consequently cannot love what they do not understand.—Excuse my nonsense, I ever write just what I think:—my business was to give you some account why I delayed the teas, and to thank you for your very noble order.—Sir Jacob was here this afternoon, and, if his looks tell truth, he is exceeding well. H—— desires his love to you and the worthy partner of your heart, to whom I join with my spouse in wishing every earthly felicity—heavenly you have both insured, by being faithful stewards.—Sir Jacob sent a parcel—which accompanies the teas—which I hope will reach you safe and right, as they set out to-morrow noon—Tell Mr. H——, I pray you, that the winter has used me as roughly as it has him—I never have been so unwell for these four months past;—but, alas! one reason is, I do believe, that I am past fifty;—but I hope with you, that spring will set us all right.—As to complaints in trade, there is nothing else—we are all poor, all grumblers, all preaching œconomy—and wishing our neighbours to practise it;—but no one but the quite undone begins at home. We are all patriots, all politicians, all state-quacks, and all fools:—the ladies are turned orators, and declaim in public, expose their persons, and their erudition, to every Jackanapes who can throw down half a crown:—as to the men, they are past saving;—as I can say no good, I will stop where I am. And is my good friend Mr. S—— unmarried still? Fie, fie upon him! how can he enjoy any good alone? He should take a partner, to lead him gently down the hill of life—to superintend his linen and his meat;—to give sweet poignancy to his beverage—and talk him to sleep on nights.—Pray tell him all I say—and also that the majority are killing up the minority as fast as they can:—nothing but duels, and rumours of duels.—But is it now time to finish? Dear Madam, forgive all my impertinences; and, believe me, dame Sancho and self have a true sense of your goodness, and repeatedly thank you both for your kindness to,
Yours in sincerity,
and greatly obliged friends,
ANNE and IGN. SANCHO.
LETTER CXXXI.
For the General Advertiser.
August 29, 1780.
FRIEND EDITOR,
“IN the multitude of Counsellors there is wisdom,” sayeth the preacher—and at this present crisis of national jeopardy, it seemeth to me befitting for every honest man to offer his mite of advice towards public benefit and edification.—The vast bounties offered for able-bodied men sheweth the zeal and liberality of our wise lawgivers—yet indicateth a scarcity of men. Now, they seem to me to have overlooked one resource (which appears obvious); a resource which would greatly benefit the people at large (by being more usefully employed), and which are happily half-trained already for the service of their country, by being powder-proof, light, active, young fellows:—I dare say you have anticipated my scheme, which is to form ten companies at least, out of the very numerous body of hair-dressers:—they are, for the most part, clean, clever, young men—and, as observed above, the utility would be immense:—the ladies, by once more getting the management of their heads into their own hands, might possibly regain their native reason and œconomy—and the gentlemen might be induced by mere necessity to comb and care for their own heads;—those (I mean) who have heads to care for.—If the above scheme should happily take place, among the many advantages too numerous to particularize, which would of course result from it, one not of the least magnitude would be a prodigious saving in the great momentous article of time; people of the ton of both sexes (to speak within probability) usually losing between two or three hours daily on that important business.—My plan, Mr. Editor, I have the comfort to think, is replete with good;—it tends to serve my king and country in the first instance—and to cleanse, settle, and emancipate from the cruel bondage of French, as well as native frizeurs, the heads of my fellow-subjects.