Having succeeded in appeasing Bulger’s anger by means of a few affectionate words and tender caresses, I determined to make inquiry as to our whereabouts, and to ascertain who the strange beings were among whom capricious fate had so unceremoniously cast Bulger and me.
“Where are we, ball-shaped giant?” I inquired in my strongest voice, “and who are you?”
Again the monster screwed his leathery face up in a deep, wrinkled smile. The reason of his good will, as I afterwards learned, arose from the fact that I had bestowed the terms “globe,” “round,” “ball-shaped,” etc., upon him, for it seemed that these wonderfully formed beings were extremely vain of their roundness, and that nothing could be uttered more pleasing and complimentary to them than to make use of such words and expressions as “ball,” “orb,” “sphere,” “round-bodied,” “bullet-shaped,” etc.; that in their land, the greatest dignities honors and titles of nobility were awarded those whose bodies showed most perfect roundness; that in proportion as one’s body deviated from the shape of a true sphere, he became degraded and excluded from society.
To such wretched subjects the King assigned the performance of all mean labor. They were the “squares,” or outcasts, whom anybody might insult or even enslave with impunity. The richer ones were sometimes able to hide their deformity by means of padding, and in this manner conceal their uneven motion in rolling from the keen eyes of the King; but the poor ones, by their inability to correct their physical defects, at once attracted the King’s attention, when he caused his people to roll up and down before him, while he kept up a searching lookout for “wabblers” or uneven rollers.
“Well, little baron—whatever that may be,” replied the King, “or shall I call thee Wafer-man with cleft edges? Know, then, that I am King Bô-gôô-gôô, Monarch of the Roundbodies; that these, are some of my subjects.
“Know, furthermore, little baron—whatever that may be—that this island is my kingdom, in which no one rules saving me, and that unless it may please my royal daughter Rōlâ-Bōlâ to keep thee and thy attendant, the walking box with cord and flaps, as curiosities to amuse her, thou and thy companion perish at sundown, for, little baron—whatever that may be—it is my royal will, and so it was my father’s, and his father’s, and so back a thousand years, that no living creature shall set foot upon the shores of my domain and not pay for his temerity by being crushed to death, literally ground into the soil, until he become a very part of it!”
Bulger appeared to grasp the meaning of this fierce speech, which was delivered in thundering tones, and accompanied by hideous contortions of the speaker’s great, round visage, flaming as the crimson disc of a tropical sun in the western sky, and followed by an outburst of grunts, groans and gurglings from the assembled Roundbodies; and, in spite of his inborn courage, his tail fell between his legs and he slunk nearer to me with a low, anxious whine.
But when good Bulger saw the calm expression of my countenance, he quickly recovered himself; his tail resumed its graceful curl, and as I faced King Bô-gôô-gôô with an unruffled exterior, to make reply to the latter’s horrible threat, Bulger, too, placed himself at my side with a defiant air.
“Most gracious Sphere! Most royal Globe! Roundest monarch of the great, round world! true, I have set foot on the shores of thy domain, but it was not, most majestic Sphericity, through choice. A fearful storm, in which the warring elements seemed bent upon the destruction of the universe, during which the great ocean hurled itself against the walls of heaven as if to beat out the very stars, while the wide-mouthed gale swooped down upon this petty earth with seeming intent to swallow it and all it contained—?”
I could speak no further.