The end of frolicsome fancy’s flights
Is oft a nest of cares.”
A judicious writer, alluding to the matrimonial state, says: “There is not a city, scarcely a township, which does not number among its inhabitants women who have married on very short acquaintance, only to be abused, deserted, and left a burden and a lifelong sorrow to the families in which they were born and reared, and which they most imprudently and improperly deserted to share the fortunes of relative strangers.”
If young ladies would realize how grossly indelicate, as well as culpably reckless, such marriages appear in the eyes of the observing, they surely would forbear. A year’s thorough acquaintance, with the most circumstantial accounts, from disinterested and reliable witnesses, of the antecedents from childhood, are the very least guarantee which any woman who realizes what marriage is, will require of a stranger.
Even then, if her parents are not fully satisfied, as well as herself, she should still hesitate. Marriage is an undertaking in which no delay can be so hazardous as undue precipitation.
“A prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself; but the simple pass on and are punished.”—Solomon.
In how many instances, of the present day, is marriage merely a union of hands—the affection not being taken into consideration. The question on the one side, “Is she handsome? has she money?” on the other, “Can he support me in style? shall I be able to make an appearance?” How much better would it be to ask, “Has the woman a heart capable of pure affection?” “Will she be willing to share with me adversity as well as prosperity?” “Will she forsake all others and cleave only to me through weal and woe?”
And woman, yes, woman, she whose very nature ought to stimulate her to higher and holier motives for taking upon herself the marriage relation, is too often anxious only as to the length of her husband’s purse, and the amount of his bank stock; the heart, the mind, the intellect, in fact everything really worth marrying for, being non-essentials.
But, oh, the misery which too often follows such marriages! The husband, when it is too late, laments his blindness and his folly. The wife is made to realize that riches take to themselves wings and fly away; and then comes the consciousness of a want of sympathy and congeniality of feelings. Both are thrown back upon themselves, for not a chord in the breast of one vibrates in unison with the other.
Let the young beware how they enter the marriage state from such motives, lest they wake too late from the delusion. Consult the judgment, and hesitate when that says “Beware.” Let the property be in rather than with the companion.