“What business of yours is it, comin’ bustin’ in here a-tut-tutting like a gas engine? Besides this here ain’t no argument.”

“Yes, but I heard——” began the peacemaker.

“Never mind what you heard,” broke in the husband. “To be an argument there’s got to be a difference of opinion, ain’t they?”

“Yes, there has,” conceded the peacemaker.

“Well, they ain’t no difference of opinion here,” said the man. “My wife thinks I ain’t going to give her none of my week’s wages and I know durned well I ain’t!”

§ 125 Keeping It in the Family

The proprietor of a small general store in a remote New England district sat at the doorway of his establishment industriously whittling. A middle-aged native drove up in an antiquated car and halted.

“Hello, Eth,” he said.

“Hello, Wes,” answered back the storekeeper.

“Wall, Eth,” said the newcomer, “you said I couldn’t dew it, but, by Judas Priest, I done it!”