§ 150 The Colonel’s Checking System
One of the most widely known railroad men on the Western hemisphere has for many years handled the publicity for a Canadian system. He is as popular in the States as he is in the Dominion.
Having so many friends and being of so social a disposition, it is almost inevitable that he must do his share of drinking. A few years ago he suffered an attack of illness and the physician who attended him put him on a diet. One of the regulations was that, until further notice, he must take no more than one high-ball every twenty-four hours. A few months later he ran down to New York. He called upon a friend and the friend opened a bottle of prime Scotch. As the Canadian refilled his glass for the third time the friend said:
“Look here, Colonel, I thought by the doctor’s orders you were allowed to take only one drink for each day.”
“Yes, that’s right,” said the Colonel, “and I’m following instructions. This drink here, for example,”—and he raised the tumbler and gazed upon its delectable amber contents—“this is my drink for August the twenty-first of next year.”
§ 151 The Reunion of the Aged
There is a certain musical comedy star who is not quite so young as she once was. During the season of 1923 she headed a road show. Business at times was not especially good and the tempers of the troupers suffered. Relations became somewhat strained between the prima donna and certain members of the chorus.
This friction was at its height when the company began a week’s engagement in a middle Western city. The theatre was old-fashioned and somewhat primitive in its appointments behind stage. For example, the dressing-rooms were no better than overgrown stalls. The walls between them ran up only part way toward the ceilings so that voices in one of these cubicles might plainly be heard by those beyond the separating half-partitions.
For the opening performance the house was no more than two thirds filled, and the audience, for some reason or other, seemed rather unresponsive. The leading lady was not in a particularly happy frame of mind as she sat in her dressing-room after the final curtain, removing her make-up. Next door several members of the chorus were shifting to street dress.
There came a knock at the star’s door.