“I’ll tell you what I need with it,” said the leading man. “You announced ‘Romeo and Juliet’ for the bill to-night, didn’t you?”
“Yes. What of it?”
“Well, you’re expecting me to play Romeo, ain’t you?”
“Sure I am.”
“Well, how in thunder do you figure I’m going to play Romeo with a three days’ beard? I’ve got to have a shave—so Romeo won’t come on with a quarter of an inch of black whiskers on his face.”
The manager considered the thick dark stubble on his star’s chops and saw the force of the argument. Slowly, he rammed a reluctant hand into his pocket, then, as a smile of relief broke over his face, brought it out empty.
“Tell you what we’ll do,” he said briskly, “we’ll change the bill to ‘Othello’!”
§ 247 A Scandal in the Family
A young Irishman whose family was scattered pretty well over the English-speaking portions of the globe emigrated to America. Soon after his arrival in New York he paid a visit to the Bronx Zoo. He halted in front of a cage containing one of the largest kangaroos in captivity. After watching the curious creature for some time in an awed silence, he hailed a keeper.
“What’s that thing?” he asked.