“ ‘Rev’n,’ I sez, ‘hold! Yere last fall,’ I sez, ‘w’en my husband, Isaiah Carter, at the age of seventy-fo’ w’en he should a’knowed better, wuz mekin’ hisse’f kind of promisc’us by hangin’ ’round two of the lady members of the congregation, an’ I went to you,’ I sez, ‘an’ axed you, az the pastor, to ’monstrate wid him, whut did you do? Jest because he’d done give you five dollars fur the new organ fund, you tole me to shet up my black mouth an’ go on home an’ ’tend to my own bizness.’
“ ‘Rev’n,’ I sez, ‘ez ye sows, so shall ye reap! Rev’n, pass on!’ ”
§ 290 The Original Package
Marjorie, aged four, marched into the grocer’s to tell the news.
“We’ve got a new baby brother up at our house,” she said.
“You don’t tell me!” said the grocer. “Is he going to stay with you?”
“I guess so,” said Marjorie; “he’s got his things off.”
§ 291 The Voice of a Husband
An Eastern college professor, on his first visit to Yellowstone Park, attempted to study at close range the grizzly bears that came down to the garbage heaps back of the Fountain Hotel for their provender. An irritable she-bear, with a cub in tow, resented his scientific curiosity. She hauled off and slapped him about fifteen feet and was preparing to claw him when Mrs. Professor came running up, armed with an umbrella, and by opening and closing it repeatedly, so frightened the bear that she departed without doing any serious injury to the startled investigator.
On the following day, two cowboys who, in the season, served as park guides, were discussing the affair. Said the first one: