“I vant to see the feller vot buys the bed-sheetings.”
§ 306 Let There Be Light!
A young negress visited a dentist of her own race late one afternoon to have an aching molar removed.
“Does you want gas?” inquired the dentist.
“Suttinly I wants gas,” she answered. “Does you think I crave to have a strange man foolin’ ’round me in de dark?”
§ 307 A Little Bed Time Tale
If you have for a friend a clergyman who is slightly deaf, it is proper to tell this story on him, adding that you were present when it happened. As a matter of fact, it has been attributed to every distinguished churchman in this country who is hard of hearing. However, it goes better, I think, when you make the central character a bishop—by preference a very dignified bishop—who is attending a dinner-party.
Seated next to him, on his deafer side, is a young lady who, being naturally diffident, is now deeply awed by her proximity to so famous a man. She hesitates to address him, preferring to wait for what she regards as a favorable opportunity; yet she craves conversation with him.
Toward the end of the meal, fruit is passed about. The nervous guest seizes on this for her cue. Gently she joggles her great neighbor’s elbow.
“I beg your pardon, sir,” she says, “but are you fond of bananas?”