“Much of a turn-out?”
“Biggest I ever seen in these parts,” he answered. “More’n twenty hacks and waggins, looks like, and a whole passel of mo’ners on foot.”
The old woman fetched a little resigned sigh:
“Well,” she said, “I certainly do wish I was settin’ turned ’round the other way—I’d like mightily to see that there fune’l.”
§ 351 A Mystery Unraveled
There was a member, now deceased, of a New York club much frequented by members of the theatrical profession, who suffered in the latter years of his life from a curious internal disorder. Always involuntarily and often at inopportune moments, he gave off weird rumbling and wheezing sounds.
One evening with three fellow members he was playing bridge. He was suffering at the moment from an especially violent attack. A certain comedian, who had been imbibing heavily, approached.
Immediately the newcomer’s attention was focussed upon the strange, ghostly noises which at intervals occurred. Just as he had traced these mysterious manifestations to their source the afflicted gentleman, after an especially violent outburst, spoke:
“I beg your pardon, gentlemen, for causing this disturbance. I assure you I cannot help it—the thing is entirely beyond my control. I really don’t know what is the matter with me.”
“I know what’s the matter with you,” cried out the inebriated one, “you’re haunted!”