“But, Sandy, mon,” objected the host, “ye’re no’ goin’ yet, with the evenin’ just startin’?”
“Nay,” said the prudent MacTavish, “I’m no’ goin’ yet. But I’m tellin’ ye good night while I know ye.”
§ 28 The Sway of Eloquence
Down in my part of the country in the old days we were a high strung and sentimental people, and oratory moved us as nothing else would. There was once a brawny blacksmith in our county who was elected justice of the peace on the strength of his Confederate record. The first case he sat to hear was one growing out of the death of a cow under a freight train. After the evidence was all in, the attorney for the plaintiff made a most effective argument. In vivid word pictures he sketched the abundant virtues of the late cow; he described her sweetness and her gentleness, her capacity as to milk; he told of the great bereavement to her immediate family, consisting of a young calf, and he dwelt upon the heartlessness of a railroad system which by its brutal carelessness had at one fell swoop, as it were, made stew meat of the parent and an orphan of the offspring. His peroration is still remembered.
“And, finally, squire,” he said, “if the train had been run as she should have been ran, and if the bell had been rung as she should have been rang, and if the whistle had been blowed as she should have been blew—both of which they done neither—this here cow would not have been injured at the time she was killed.”
As he sat down the new justice in a voice husky with feeling, said: “I’ve done heared enough! Plaintiff wins!” and proceeded to enter judgment for the full amount of damages. But the lawyer for the other side protested. He insisted he had a right to be heard, and, though the justice said he had already made up his mind, he admitted that it was no more than fair for the young gentleman to make a speech, too, if he wanted to.
The lawyer for the railroad cut his moorings and went straight up. He was a genuine silver tongue. He soared right into the clouds. Among other matters pertinent to the issue, he introduced the American Eagle, Magna Charta, First and Second Manassas, Paul Revere’s Ride and the Bonny Blue Flag Which Bears but a Single Star, concluding the whole by giving the Rebel Yell.
As he sank into his seat the justice, with a touch of the true old Jeffersonian simplicity, wiped his streaming eyes upon his shirt sleeve, and in a voice quivering with sobs exclaimed:
“Well, don’t that beat all! Defence wins!”