Remarks:
The elephant walked on my corn. By Jove, it did hurt. I wouldn’t have minded it if he had stepped on my other foot, but—oh!—that corn.—The alligators were homesick today. Ham painted some swamp scenery for them. That is about the first useful thing he has done on the whole trip.—My back tooth still hurts and we’re a long way from a good dentist. Tried the hot-water bag, seven poultices, and Mrs. Ham’s faith cure. Still it throbs.
Remarks:
Made up my mind I would get rid of that tooth. Thought of a fine home-made-dentist plan to pull it. Tied one end of a string to the tooth and the other to the handle of my stateroom door. I wanted somebody to open the door, and then the tooth would fly out. Sat there all day, but no one came in. Tonight I opened the door and found some practical joker had tacked up a “no admittance” sign. I’ll bet it was Ham.
Remarks:
Pulled that tooth today sailor fashion. Tied the other end of the string to the anchor, and hung on to the mast while Shem threw it overboard. Thought it would pull the mast up by the roots. I don’t care, I have fifteen teeth left, but it just dawned on me—I lost that anchor.
Remarks:
100th day of voyage.—Services. I preached about the dangers young people encounter in large cities. Hope the congregation remember my warnings.—Tonight I overheard the officers talking. Ham said there was not much fun working for the governor as I didn’t pay him anything. He wanted to know how he could bring up a family on those wages. Shem took my part and said I might leave him something in my will. Japheth reminded Ham his expenses were next to nothing, and that he had plenty to eat. He thought the Noah boys ought to make a fortune after we land because labor will be so cheap.
Ham said he was going in for politics, and then he would be sure of his fortune. Japheth said he would like to start a bank. Shem declared he only would succeed as a professor in some college.—My, I wish one of my sons would be a lawyer or a doctor. It gives distinction to the family. I’m glad I haven’t any daughters. All a woman thinks about is getting married, and I’d have a hard time finding good husbands for them.