The Autobiography of a Clown

by Isaac Frederick Marcosson

“EVERY STEP IN THE MAKING OF A CLOWN IS HARD WORK.”

I was given to understand at the start that Mr. Conrad was my boss in all things. He was to provide me with food and clothes and shelter. He controlled my time and my actions day and night. He was not long in beginning my training. We practiced in the rooms of the hotels or boarding houses where we stopped or in the arenas in the morning before the performance began.

The Conrads were what is known as “carpet gymnasts,” which means that they worked on the ground and not in the air. It was decided that I should begin as a contortionist because they needed one in a new act they were preparing. I began by practicing what is known in the profession as posturing. This consists of bending back and forth. In order to be a good contortionist you must be a good “bender,” that is, bend so close that the two extremes of your body meet. While many people may be born supple, it does not follow that they can become good contortionists, save by long and constant training. Every day one of the Conrads took me by the arms and another took me by the feet and bent me back and forth. It was very hard and painful and often I cried. Then one of my teachers would jeer at me and say:

“Only babies cry. Be a man.”

Sometimes I thought I should die from weariness and ache. But as I grew more supple and could bend more closely I began to take a pride in my work. The Conrads encouraged this pride and relented far enough to say a kind word when I showed particular signs of progress.

By the time I was eight years of age I was considered a good contortionist. Long before that time I had appeared in public. I was first used as a sort of human baseball in family acts. I was tossed from shoulder to shoulder. At other times I became a spinning wheel. One of the Conrads would lie on his back, lift me to the soles of his feet, and then whirl me around. At first it made me dizzy, but I came to like it because the people applauded. It is easy to succumb to the flattery of the crowd and to love the music of clapping hands. You never get enough of it in the circus business.

In addition to my training as contortionist I was being trained as gymnast. I was taught the forward somersault first. I wore a belt with a ring on each side. Stout cords were passed through these rings. With a Conrad on each side holding the cords which acted as an axis I was whirled around. Soon I was able to turn without their help. Then I learned the back somersault in the same way. This constant work hardened my muscles and I became like steel. All the while we were traveling over Europe, visiting the circuses of the great capitals. But I saw little of the cities or their life. It was work or training all day and half the night and then to bed, for the acrobat must have his rest and lots of sleep.

My first public appearance alone followed soon after I became a skilled contortionist. I was heralded as a “Child Wonder” and I did what was known as “The Demon Act.” I wore red tights, reddened my face, wore a little tail, and looked like a real little devil. I shall never forget my initial appearance. It was in a huge London music hall. When I came out everybody applauded because I must have been a fearful sight. Every seat seemed to be filled, the band played, and it was a wonderful feeling. I forgot, for the moment, all the hardship and traveling I had endured; the cold, the hunger, and the separation from my parents. All that I realized was that a great, new, animated world was spread before me and that all eyes were upon me. My act was simple contortion work, but the effective red costume seemed to make a hit and I was recalled several times. Henceforth I did this act twice a day for a year. When I got through each time I had to change my clothes, put on flesh-colored tights, and do my share of work with the whole Conrad family.

My apprenticeship to the Conrads lasted ten years, the original term of the indenture. During that time I received no pay. I don’t think that in all that period I had as much as a pound to spend on myself. Meanwhile the Conrads had received good money for my appearance, especially for the “Demon Act.” But I must say I learned a lot from them despite the fact that they were hard taskmasters.

On the day I was sixteen years of age my slavery ended. The contract with the Conrads was up and I was free. The Conrads wanted me to stay with them, but I had too many scars on my back, too vivid a memory of cold, half-fed nights and long days of relentless practicing. I wanted to go out in the world for myself, and I went.