“And even if you can’t get over feeling that this costs you a good deal, can’t you remember that when the Prince Royal was here, his visage was more marred than any man’s, and yet he let every one look at it? And if he has a work for you now, and a place where you can gather up a great share of what is worth having in life, can’t you take it up for his sake, and for my sake, if not for you own?”
The blue veins were swelling again, and the old throbbing at the heart coming back in full force; but he would not forget that he was a soldier! And yet even a soldier might beg for a truce!
“Oh, wait, please,” he cried, “only wait till to-morrow!”
“Of course we will wait,” said the doctor, “and as long as you like; and in the meantime we will eat our dinner, and after that, suppose we have a drive together? Not so far as to meddle with the pain, but I think we might get a breath of what lies outside the city for once in a way.”
The battle lasted well into the night, in spite of the drive behind Jet, and everything the doctor could think of to make it seem as if there were no such thing as fighting in the world. But though Thorndyke had begged for a truce, he was determined not to go to sleep till the enemy was put to rout again, and it seemed at one time as if it were going to take the whole night to do it. He lay with his eyes wide open, the moon shining into the little room that had seemed so wonderful when it was first given him, but only a mockery so many times since; and the forms of all the terrible things he should have to meet if he did as the doctor wished stalked about it like evil spirits of the night. The fight had been sharp enough when he determined to open the door for patients again, and the first time he went home with Aleck it seemed as if he should die; but opening the door was for the doctor, and he had got accustomed to it now; and Nellie Halliday never seemed to see anything but his face, and had taken it in her slender white hands one day and asked him if he knew it was a wonderful gift of Heaven; he could not tell what she meant, but he had never been afraid to let her see him since then.
But Halliday’s! There would be hundreds of people coming in all day long, and he himself would be standing behind the counter scarcely able to look over it, and every one looking down upon him to see how strangely he was made! And then going through the street so many times every day! Going on errands here and there, very likely, and letting every one wonder where Halliday had found such a strange little creature to do his work! He could bear the pain, he could bear knowing that he was never to learn the games of the boys, and to go about with them as the doctor had thought he should, he could bear never feeling that he was one of the princes again, but he could not bear this!
He shut his eyes, but there it all was, just the same; what could he do? The ugly forms would not be beaten down, and yet he must not give it up!
But at last, a different thought rose up, that seemed to make them shrink away, and he felt himself gaining a little once more! There were the Prince Royal and the doctor! If they wished it, and it would please them, why should he care for anything else! If he could only once determine that he did not care! No, he never could do that, but if he could only be so happy in pleasing them as to trample all the pain that might come from anywhere else under his feet! And after all, would it not be a great thing to have a business, a profession of his own, and know so much that he could be really of some use as well as if he were like other people, instead of “hiding away all his life,” as the doctor called it? And perhaps other people might come to respect him for what he knew and could do, some day! Oh, he could see it all now! Why had he not seen it before, and how could he ever thank the doctor for seeing it for him? He would do it; he would be ready any day!
The battle was won, and the tired soldier turned on his pillow to go to sleep, with something nearer the old joyous thrill in his veins than he had thought he could ever feel again.