To Mrs. Marshall.
"NEW YORK, October, 1809.
"I find your letter dated 'Elderslie' — the very name gives a thrill to my old heart; in a moment the various scenes of my youthful days rise before me — the old mansion itself, and all its beloved inmates, every one of whom have now crossed the Jordan of death, leaving me a solitary wanderer in this weary wilderness. Ah, I can at this moment think of spots, by the burnside and the braeside, endeared to my heart by a thousand tender associations. There have I wandered with my beloved, idolized husband, and there has he delighted my heart with professions of love. These were indeed moments of ecstasy; but hush, there are you a widow with very, very different sensations, and here am I a widow with sensations equally different. The Lord has showed us many and sore adversities, but he will bring us up from the deeps below; we are much nearer our Father's house, and I hope proportionably riper for those joys which are at his right hand; and although your letter has brought some pleasing recollections to my mind — days of love and courtship, days, some of solitude, some of disappointment, some of ecstasy — yet I find they were all days of idolatry, therefore to be mourned over, not retasted, reënjoyed with delight. No, no; Father, forgive me."
CHAPTER X.
NEW YORK BIBLE SOCIETY — ASSOCIATIONS FOR PRAYER — HAPPY OLD AGE — LETTERS.
"IN December, 1809, a Bible Society was organized in New York, and about the same time twenty respectable persons united in a society, to wait on the Lord, to know what their hands could find to do to promote his glory, to advance his kingdom, to spread the savor of the Redeemer's name, or in any way to benefit the souls of their fellow-sinners.
"On Monday a meeting for prayer was instituted in Hetty-street, and another in Mulberry-street, with which the Presbyterian ministers have agreed to meet in rotation. It is the Lord. We have heard of revivals all around, but feared lest the aggravated sins of New York might provoke the Lord to pass by, leaving our fleece dry, while the dew wet all around. Great have been our privileges; the gospel trumpet has sounded in every corner of our city. The Lord's servants have set before us life and death, assuring us, from God's word, that 'though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished;' beseeching us to flee from the wrath to come, and lay hold on the hope set before us. God in his providence has visited us with mercies and with judgments: stricken us, and healed us; scattered us, and gathered us: but alas, alas, we were 'eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage.' Many, very many, wasting their time, health, and substance, in all manner of immorality,
and our rulers caring for none of these things; yea, many of them practising the same things; and Oh, God's own saved people sitting still, restraining testimony before men and prayer before God. What were we to expect but that God should say, Why should they be stricken any more? they will revolt more and more: they are joined to idols; let them alone. Such, O Lord, would be the case didst thou not deliver us out of our own self-destroying snares. If thou turn us not, we shall never turn; it is in our nature to backslide for ever.
"But is not the time come to pass when before thy people call thou answerest, and while they are yet speaking, thou hearest? Art thou not calling with power, 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings?' and hast thou not prepared their hearts to answer, Behold, we come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God? truly, in vain is salvation looked for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountains; truly, from the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel. Hast thou not, O God, prepared the hearts of thy people to pray, and thine ear to hear? Is not this Bible Society, and are not these associations for prayer, tokens from thee for good? More and more, Lord, may thy people give thee no rest, until thou make Zion a praise in the earth. O the Hope of Israel, and the Saviour thereof, be not as a wayfaring man, that turneth aside for a night. May thy people constrain thee to abide with us for ever, to form us a people for thyself, to show forth thy praise.