British vessel to carry herself and family to the port of New York. This increased her expenses; but Providence, in faithfulness and mercy, sent her at this time a remittance from Dr. Henderson, the young friend of Dr. Graham, who succeeded him as surgeon of the regiment; and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by Lady Glenorchy, as a mark of her regard, was now of great use to her.
Thus in the month of July, 1789, Mrs. Graham once more prepared to go into a land which the Lord seemed to tell her of.
The two following extracts from her private journal, indicate the state of her mind and heart previous to leaving Edinburgh.
"EDINBURGH, March, 1789.
"Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49:11; the Lord's promise, which he made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling the bounds of my habitation.
"For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the God of providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been the chief
matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow — even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My God knows I have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of God for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal life: God knows what share of these consists with their better interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust in him for, and for which I think I have his promise — even the life of their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my petition for me and mine; verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11."
"EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789.
"This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his servant Mr. R——, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that God is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can content me, nothing more do I desire.
"This great I AM is my portion — what can I ask beside? He hath opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I sprinkle