"What the Lord is going to do with his and my children I know not; but the Samuel Elam has returned to port with a leak, after being out nineteen days. On the day of storm, she had seven feet of water in her hold. I hope the Lord, in mercy to you, to his church, and to me his unworthy servant, has guided you in safety, and that the prayers of his church were answered in your behalf. O, my children, what would be the situation of my heart had I not confidence of your being within the ark. I desire to rejoice over all my fears, for this unspeakable consolation, that nothing can hurt you. I experience for you what I did in my own case, when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of many, while our vessel kept dashing on the rock: I, too, expected her to go to pieces every moment; but the idea was ever with me, 'in the bosom of God's ocean, I shall find the bosom of my Saviour.' On the night of the 29th of March I dreamt my dear J——y fell overboard, and I saw her floating on the billows, supporting herself by her little chair: this is the state of my mind; yet I am thankful, and enjoy much peace. The Lord has given me what I have asked — the salvation of your souls. In a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne. Well may I leave to him all intervening
circumstances, as well as who goes first, and how. O how he blesses my latter end, how he soothes and comforts my old age; far other things have I merited, that my soul knows; but he has not only pardoned, but comforts, and draws a veil over my transgressions, covering them from the world's observation. What can I say? He is God, a God of mercy."
"APRIL 17.
"I have brought the reality near me, that mine eyes may never behold you again on earth. I can say, even of that, it is well; but the idea of the horrors of tempest, a leaky vessel racked by the storm, and sinking by inches; sickness, nervous timidity, and the sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be attained, is my chief disquietude, I will not even say distress, because when these horrors — horrors they are to mere nature — dart across my mind, filling my soul with momentary anguish, Satan too seeking to distract my mind, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a standard against him, and comforts me with his own word, the everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the believer's lot. Thousands of times have I grasped that promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' I pleaded it for the life of their souls; He answered my prayers; he has given them life, and they live to him. Yes, I see the fruit, and though iniquities still prevail against them, he still purges away their transgressions; kindles their repentance; humbles their souls; lays them prostrate in penitential confession; washes them afresh in the open fountain; restores to them the joys of his salvation; seals their pardon by
shedding abroad his love in their hearts, and making them walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake.
"Thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various means of his own appointing, and some terrible things in righteousness, in the course of his providence; in all which he is sovereign, but ever consistent with his new covenant name, as proclaimed to Moses on the mount, as manifested in the character of God dwelling with us in our own nature, in whom mercy shone prominent; by which mercy they shall appear in Zion, before God, in due time.
"Is it so? Is this God my God, and the God of my seed? Is he himself become our salvation? Are we heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ? Is our life hid with Christ in God? When he appears, shall we, I and the children which he hath given me, in very deed appear with him in glory? Is all this so, and shall I tremble at the approach of any of his providences? Shall I not say when it has taken place, 'The will of the Lord be done,' especially when clothed with love? I trust that as my day, so shall my strength be, and in the interim I have the same confidence for you; for 'he giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.'"
"APRIL 25.
"The wind roars and howls in my windows, though not facing the storm, and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming billows of the ocean. The name of our God is my consolation: 'though the waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof, there is a river the
streams whereof shall make glad the city of God. God shall help her, and that right early.' When I walk about Zion, and go round about her, when I tell the towers thereof, mark her bulwarks, and consider her palaces, my heart rejoices that 'this God is our God; he will be our guide even unto death; and O the joy that my children are the citizens of this Zion, and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in Christ's blood. A covenant of works it was to our Surety, and his heart's blood finished the requisites of it. It is now a testament to you, sealed by the same blood. Wherever in his word I meet the character, the providence, the work of God, I read my own and my children's interest. I hope your experience shall be in Psalm 107:28. If not wholly, it shall terminate in Psalm 23:4. Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear no evil, for this God, who is your guide even unto death, shall be with you, his rod and staff shall comfort you; and our darling Jessy he shall carry as a lamb in his arms, and hide her from the horrors, in his bosom. I dwell much on these subjects, and I feel comforted, whatever be the event.