"'O Lord, from thee is our fruit found;' may our sheaves be many and weighty, thou working all our works in us, to thine own glory and our blessedness. Amen."
"1802.
"Dear brother Pero,* happy brother Pero, thy Jesus, in whom thou trustedst, has loosed thy bonds, has brought thee to that rest which remains for the people of God; thou drinkest of the pure river that maketh glad the city of our God; of that blessed fountain from which issue all the streams which refresh and revive us weary pilgrims. But a little while ago, and thou wast weary, dark, and solitary; thy flesh fettering and clogging thy spirit; thy God trying thy faith, hope, and patience, which he had previously implanted, watered, and made vigorous, to stand that trial more precious than gold that perisheth, though it be tried by fire, and was made manifest to the glory of that Saviour who leaves not his people
in any case. If need be, they are in heaviness, through manifold temptations; but he knows how to deliver them, having himself been tempted.
*Pero was an elderly man of color whom Mr. Andrew Smith had purchased, and made free.
Pero had previously been a freed man of Christ. He had been for some time in ill health; Mrs. Graham kindly attended on him, and read the Scriptures to him: he died by the bursting of a bloodvessel, at an hour when none of the family were with him. Mrs. Graham, in humility of spirit, reproaches herself in this exercise, for having been absent from him, without inquiring into his situation for one hour.
"Thou hadst a taste of his cup: like him thou didst endure the contradiction of sinners; like him thou didst experience the desertion of friends, even thine old mistress, whom thou lately didst esteem as a sister in Christ, and to whom thou didst look for fresh communications from and through that written word, which she could read and thou couldst not. Oh, how did she prove as a broken reed unto thee; how did she neglect thy necessity, and her own opportunity of bringing forth fruit in its season. Thou hast been no loser. The Lord passed by the slothful servant, the unfaithful steward, who neglected to give thee thy meat in due season, and himself took her place; took thee from that household which was not worthy of thee, and led thee to those mansions of bliss which himself purchased and prepared; set thee at that table which shall never be drawn, where thou shalt feast on all the fulness of God, and drink of those pleasures which are at his right hand for evermore. No need of old mistress now; no need of any earthly vessel now, nor of that written word which thou didst so highly prize. The Word made flesh has removed the veil that shaded the glory of the God-man from thine eyes; flesh and blood could not behold it; of this he has unclothed thee — left it with us to look upon and mourn our sin. Thee he has introduced into the full vision of eternal day, where thou knowest as thou art known, and seest as thou art seen. O that full communion enjoyed between a holy soul and the perfection of holiness! O that light of
life, that ocean of love, that inconceivable blessedness. How hast thou outrun us, brother Pero; how distanced us in a moment. Oh, could I not watch with thee one hour? Oh that I had received thy last blessing, instead of which, conscious offence, deserved rebuke, painful compunction wring my heart; and perhaps the rod of correction may be suspended, and now ready to fall on my guilty head.
"Father, O my Father, am I not still thy child — still thy adopted? Have not I an Advocate with thee, Jesus Christ the righteous, whom thou hearest always? does not the blood of Christ cleanse from all sin? yes, O yes. This is my universal remedy; thousands and ten thousands of times have I experienced its efficacy. Father, I again apply; blessed Spirit, do thine office. Wash me, and I shall be clean; purge me, and I shall be whiter than snow. I confess my sin, I acknowledge mine iniquity. Thou didst bring to me an old disciple, near and dear to his and my Saviour; thou didst require me to minister unto him all that he needed; the honor was great, the opportunity valuable. Thou didst empty thy servant for a time, thou didst hide his comfort, that I might, through thy written word, draw living waters for him, and give him to drink. O the honor; O the negligence. Thou didst send the call for thy disciple to come up to thee; in thy providence thou didst make it first known to me, that I might be instrumental in conveying to him, through the same channel, oil and trimming for his lamp. Great was the honor; dignified the service; but lost to me for ever. I passed by on the other side. Blessed, blessed Jesus; thou good Samaritan, who pouredst the oil and wine into his wounds, and tookest him, not to an inn,
but to those mansions in the skies which thou, with thine own blood, purchasedst for him; sanctify, O sanctify to me this thy providence; pardon my neglect. Saviour, wash me in thy blood, and sanctify and bring good out of even my transgression. By thy grace, let it be a means of stirring me up to more watchfulness, that I may meet the opportunities afforded me in thy providence, to occupy till thou come."
"DECEMBER, 1802.