AFTERTHOUGHTS: A Bundle of Brevities
MOONSHINE CAPITAL CREDIT THE SMALL BOY A DAY IN TOWN THE PROFESSION OF CHARITY THE PRIVILEGES OF POVERTY SALVATION FOR THE SERAPHIM TRUTH—LOCAL AND TEMPORAL THE CREED OF DESPAIR SOCIAL BUGBEARS MARTYRS THE LONDON SEASON THE ACADEMY PORTRAITS OF GENTLEMEN PHOTOGRAPHY AND REALISM THE GREAT UNHUNG THE ABOLITION OF CATALOGUES THE ARTISTIC TEMPERAMENT PROFESSIONAL ETHICS LAY CONFESSORS Q. E. D. NOVELS THE MOUSE WHO DIED THEOLOGIC NOVELS MUDIE MEASURE THE PROP OF LETTERS THE LATTER-DAY POET AN ATTACK OF ALLITERATION THE HUMOROUS THE DISCOUNT FARCE THE FRANCHISE FARCE THE MODERN WAR FARCE FIREWORKS TIME'S FORELOCK DIARIES "LOOKING BACKWARD" LONG LIVES VIVE LA MORT! MEN AND BOOKMEN JAMES I. ON TOBACCO A COUNTERBLAST TO JAMES I. VALEDICTORY
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PART I
GOSSIPS AND FANTASIES
I
A VISION OF THE BURDEN OF MAN
And it came to pass that my soul was vexed with the problems of life, so that I could not sleep. So I opened a book by a lady novelist, and fell to reading therein. And of a sudden I looked up, and lo! a great host of women filled the chamber, which had become as the Albert Hall for magnitude—women of all complexions, countries, times, ages, and sexes. Some were bewitching and beautiful, some wan and flat-breasted, some elegant and stately, some ugly and squat, some plain and whitewashed, and some painted and decorated; women in silk gowns, and women in divided skirts, and women in widows' weeds, and women in knickerbockers, and women in ulsters, and women in furs, and women in crinolines, and women in tights, and women in rags; but every woman of them all in tears. The great chamber was full of a mighty babel; shouts and ululations, groans and moans, weeping and wailing and gnashing of false and genuine teeth, and tearing of hair both artificial and natural; and therewith the flutter of a myriad fans, and the rustle of a million powder-puffs. And the air reeked with a thousand indescribable scents—patchouli and attar of roses and cherry blossom, and the heavy odours of hair-oil and dyes and cosmetics and patent medicines innumerable.
Now when the women perceived me on my reading-chair in their midst, the shrill babel swelled to a savage thunder of menace, so that I deemed they were wroth with me for intruding upon them in mine own house; but as mine ear grew accustomed to the babel of tongues, I became aware of the true import of their ejaculations.
"O son of man!" they cried, in various voices: "thy cruel reign is over, thy long tyranny is done; thou hast glutted thyself with victims, thou hast got drunken on our hearts' blood, we have made sport for thee in our blindness. But the Light is come at last, the slow night has budded into the rose of dawn, the masculine monster is in his death-throes, the kingdom of justice is at hand, the Doll's House has been condemned by the sanitary inspector."